Dear Kelli Stapleton
|September 6, 2013||Filled under Uncategorized|
The mother of a teenager with autism has been charged with attempted murder as police believe she tried killing herself and her daughter.
Kelli Stapleton, 45, is expected to be arraigned in the coming days after her release Thursday from a Grand Rapids, Michigan hospital where she was treated for carbon monoxide poisoning following the failed suicide attempt.
In a statement released, her husband Matt said their daughter Isabelle remains hospitalized in critical condition and unconscious after suffering carbon monoxide poisoning.
Police said she and her daughter were found Tuesday after having suffered from carbon monoxide poisoning.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2413574/Kelli-Stapleton-jail-trying-kill-autistic-14-year-old-daughter.html#ixzz2e9179rPR
I know you may never read this and that hurts my heart so much. Because now life is worse off than before. You’re not going to a place where people will have compassion for you. You won’t have this blog and twitter community around you anymore. This just sucks so badly.
Most people are probably wondering why I would have compassion for a mother who would do such a horrible thing. A lot of people don’t really know mental illness. A lot of people have no clue what it’s like to live with someone with autism every day. A lot of people have no clue how little help we get when we sometimes really need it. No one really knows rock bottom until they’ve been there. I don’t even know it.
Unless people have read your blog, they have absolutely no idea what you went through. I admit I wasn’t a steady reader but I knew your name the moment it came up in the news.
You’re going to be pinned as this awful mother who tried to do the worst thing any mother could possibly do. I actually don’t think you’re an awful mother. I think you’re a hurt mother, I think you’re an exhausted mother, I think you’re a mother who pushed so hard for so long only to face rejection time and time and time and time again. I think you’re a mother who got really really really mentally unwell. I think you’re an extraordinary mother who snapped and did the worst thing a mother could do.
No one knows how much work and blood and sweat and tears you put into your daughter. No one knows how many times you were rejected. No one knows. No one ever will know.
I feel the regret you must be feeling. I feel it so deep in my soul. I feel so sad that it came to this, that you felt that there was no way out. I’m sure, in that moment, you probably felt like you were doing everyone a favour. Maybe you felt like you were doing your husband a favour. Perhaps you wanted a way out and didn’t want to leave him alone with the task of raising her. I know this is a tremendous task that you tackled with all of your soul. It’s just so sad that you were so confused in that moment.
You tackled and tackled and tackled until you snapped.
While I want my readers to know that I don’t agree with your actions, I also want you to know that I don’t think I can judge you. I think you went to the most awful place a mother could go to. I think what you did was incredibly wrong. I just can’t say that anyone else would have been able to handle it any better. The state of Michigan failed you and your daughter.
People just have no clue what it is like to live in a home with a person with autism 24/7. Especially someone with autism who is extremely aggressive. You go to a very dark place. No body knows how it feels except other parents who are and who have been there. My stay in that dark place was only for a few years before our aggression lessened drastically but I know that those were some of the darkest days of my life. By no means was my sorrow and darkness as deep as yours but, because of my stint in that place, I see how bad it could get.
This is just all too sad and too hard and too painful.
I will be sending your family love and light. I really hope Isabelle pulls through. I so wish with all of my heart that you had never been pushed to your breaking point and that you had never done what you did.
I’m going to end this with a video of you doing what you did every day – being a good mother.
I’m beginning to wonder if Kelli wouldn’t have been driven to this if she didn’t care so much. What do you think?
I know a lot of you might think I’m crazy for taking a stance of compassion for this woman. PLEASE know that I’ve never even gone close to the dark place she went to with her daughter. Please also know that I’m not excusing her actions. I just feel so sad that she felt like it had to come to this. This woman was beat down constantly and I really wish things had turned out differently. I’m also open to the fact that her blog may have not captured everything about her family. We can paint things however we want to when we blog.