Ugh, the dreaded winter time here in the Lower Mainland…rain rain rain. I can’t complain about the fall we’ve had, it was mostly beautiful.
I was pretty proud of myself and how much I got the kids out this summer, even if it was just in my yard some days, they got outside. Now it’s gloomy, cold, muddy, wet, soggy, gross…etc. I don’t WANNA go outside…at all….
Now there many indoor places to go to like the mall, grocery store, etc…but I have THOSE kids, you know..the ones that scream and wail and hit and snot and slobber?? Those are mine…wait…THAT is mine…not mentioning any names…*cough* Silas *cough*. Brent and I hardly can handle the pair of them on our own let alone me by myself. It’s a nightmare…and absolute nightmare. I never want to do it…ever.
A few weeks ago I had the bright idea of sticking Ikey in the backpack and holding Silas’ hand to go for a walk. 6 months ago that was a fine idea but now it’s almost impossible. I had to stop at least 10 times to calm him down. He just flips out about everything. It’s so hard to handle.
I had great plans to enroll them in some programs but POOOP we don’t have the money for that. We eat lentils 3 nights a week…we can’t afford PROGRAMS. We afford legumes…we smell too bad for programs anyway.
So here I am, feeling like a bad mother…again. Even though I’ve realized that I always feel like a bad mother and wife no matter what I do or do not do. Maybe that’s why I never accomplish much…because I never really impress myself with my accomplishments anyway…hmmm wonder where THAT came from? Haha.
Anyway…I rabbit trailed. Can someone buy us a bit plastic bubble with fake sunshine and warmth so we can go outside??
No mother feels like a great mother 100% of the time. Every one of us feels like a failure because that’s what mom due. I think that’s why it’s called “mommy guilt”
Dear Leah you’re being too hard on yourself…try to think back to a time resently when you felt like a good mother…when you had abit of fun with the boys ,when you took good care of you sick husband, when you cooked tthem all a good meal. Ilove you .