Feel Free To Laugh

Isaac is in his bouncy chair pooping and looking at me as though to say “I’m so sorry to do this to you mommy, but I had to”. His innocent face somewhat sustains me through these God forsaken, awful days.

Clouds have rolled over the lower mainland and once again we are blanketed by darkness and rain for the next 7 months. Why do people live here? I’ve been finding myself daydreaming about up and moving to San Diego and enjoying the sun and warmth year round. I do have my American citizenship, perhaps it could work. I don’t know about enduring another winter of rain and clouds.

I’m not very depressed right now or anything, I’m just tired and frustrated with Silas. Every good thing always ends in a tantrum. I feel as though I’m walking on egg shells just to avoid the next explosion. Today I brought Ikey down and said “look who’s here” to Silas. I quickly back tracked and tried to show him it was Ikey and not some visitor at the door. It didn’t work, stupid me to say such words. Another tantrum on my hands. Another good mood gone bad in a split second.

I don’t like doing fun stuff with him because it ALWAYS ends in a freak out. I’d have to wait until he got tired of the activity but what repetition-loving toddler wants to stop?? I think I read Hop on Pop 80 000 times today. At least I find reading to him enjoyable. I showed him the mommy in “How Does a Dinosaur Clean Up His Room” and he loved that Mommy was in the book, then he pointed to the dinosaur and said “Daddy” and I laughed so hard (the parents in those books are human…the dinosaurs are kids). Oh, it really is the little moments isn’t it? He also has Hop on Pop almost memorized. He’ll open up to any page and know what it says.

I accidentally put Ikey in a dirty sleeper this morning and he smells like spit up. Gotta love how the clean and dirty clothes end up together on the floor. Who has time to fold stuff?? My husband is very good at moving the clean stuff off the top of our bed and onto the floor though. He’s so handy.

I can’t remember the last time I did my hair. My husband comes home every day to his plump wife who’s sporting a messy bun with strands of hair falling out of it all around. Her eye brows have all grown in and she’s wearing the same PJ’s he left her in that morning except they just have a little more food on them than before. She did manage to shave a few days beforehand so she isn’t fuzzy, just sharp and stubbly. Her armpits smell of day old deodorant and a little like curry…and salt. How is THAT to come home to? Yummy yummy, he’s so lucky.

I don’t get these mom’s who can manage to look amazing and have like 5 snotty nosed brats running around the house. Do we neglect the kids to enjoy some alone time with our flat irons and tweezers? Is that how it’s done? Perhaps they just make it their priority, they’re thinking of that when I’m thinking of what kind of food would comfort me most right now. They’ve had their piece of lettuce and are now off for a conference with miss rouge and miss lipstick.

Anyway, I guess I haven’t brightened anyone’s day today. Do feel free to laugh at all of that though…it was written with sarcasm and humour. I wont feel bad if you laugh, I’m finding it slightly humorous as well. What good is anything if you can’t laugh at yourself?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

 

 

–Reinhold Niebuhr