Goodness goodness me. I just had a lovely time. A very lovely time.
Isaac’s preschool puts on a fabulous Mother’s Day celebration. It was absolutely adorable. Our children escorted us in one by one and we all sat down. Then they sang us some mommy love songs which Isaac belted out, completely red-faced. That’s my boy. Then they rubbed our feet down with lotion…it was more like Isaac rubbing lotion into one small area of my shins but whatever…they were looking a bit ashy there anyway.
After my freshly shaved legs stopped stinging from dollar store lotion we played an adorable game. They had asked our children 4 questions about us and they wrote down their answers. Then all of us moms were given a chalk board and we answered the questions too. We had to see if our answers matched. Here they are.
What does your Mommy do while you are at school? Isaac: Go to Auntie Jennies Mine: shopping (although I was tempted to write “absolutely nothing”, because it’s kind of the truth.)
How old is your Mommy? Isaac: 15 (good boy) Mine: 29
What’s your Mommy’s favourite food? Isaac: fruits & Veggies (hah!!) Mine: PIZZA!
Where does your Mom get her coffee Tim Hortons or Starbucks? Both: Starbucks!! Sorry Canada…I just can’t raise them THAT Canadian if the coffee will continue to be THAT disgusting.
They had a marvelous tea set out for us but we had to go pick up Silas. I chugged my tea and packed up the goodies and we went on our way.
So there’s one man (lets call him Niceolddad…he’d be so mad if he read that I called him old…lol) who’s always bringing his daughter to school there. The girl’s mom (lets call her Badmom) is one of those crrraaazzzziiieeess who might knife you in your sleep if you looked at her funny. She’s also a complete deadbeat mom and rarely ever sees her daughter. Badmom has it out for Niceolddad in a bad way, she’s also friends with another mom (lets call her busybodyface) in the preschool who, seems normal, but obviously isn’t. You see…Busybodyface got it in her head that Niceolddad and I were spending some “time” together. By “time” I mean she thought we were bumping uglies while the kids were in preschool. This made Badmom bonkers and she began to torture Niceolddad about it…just little things like kicking his door down…and stuff…
Of course, I’ve never even seen the man beyond the property line of the school and I don’t even know his number…I still sometimes forget his name. But, according to Busybodyface, this wild affair has gone on for some time.
So you can imagine the awkwardness when Badmom actually, for once, showed up at school today. My girlfriends and I cringed and, well, Busybodyface and Badmom both looked over at me and then shared an ever-so-highschool glance with eachother and a snickery smile. Then, of course, Badmom and I were seated right next to each other the whole time. It was refreshingly awkward. I mean, she’s sitting there thinking “OMG this is the woman he’s been sleeping with this whole time…damn her damn her damn her” and I’m sitting there wondering if she has a knife in her purse or if she intends on following me home and making a skin suit out of my body.
Of course, again, we were seated by each other at tea and that made me thankful that I had to go. Very thankful. How do you hold a conversation with a person like that? “Hi, so how’s anger management?”. No way. See ya later.