These things are angering me. ANGERING ME.
I don’t know if Silas would have an autism diagnosis if he were reassessed. I’m going to say he wouldn’t, I think it would be more like PDD NOS or something. I’m going to say that to a lot of people he may look like he’s grown out of it.
When you think of a person growing out of something you think of a young boy growing out of his lego – moving on to more grown up things. It’s a natural transition and with most people it happens with little no zero effort on anyone’s behalf.
Here’s what “growing out of autism looks like”
- hundreds upon thousands of tears from the parents
- about 80 trillion melt downs
- 30 bottles of antidepressants – typically for the mom
- hundreds of miles on to the car driving the child to and fro therapies
- broken noses, scars, bite marks, bruises etc – for the people in contact with the child
- about 365 anxiety attacks a year for the parents when you’re in the throws of it.
- hundreds of hours of having people come in to your home to do therapy with the child.
- bottles upon bottles of various supplements
- learning how to teach your child to talk and using those techniques 24/7
- hours upon hours of reading and researching
- signing your name on hundreds of different forms
- holes in your walls
- learning to be more patient than almost humanly possible but you do it anyway
- learning to not lose your cool when your child hurts you
- glares and comments from strangers in public
- judgement from people close to you and strangers
- disagreements with your spouse on how things need to be done
- being stressed about money and feeling guilty when you buy yourself anything because it should go to therapy
- planning fundraisers
- feeling so overwhelmed that you feel like you’re spiraling down into a deep dark hole
- copious amounts of wine
- knowing what “sensory integration” means and applying it to your life often
- sleepless nights
- constant worry
- trying different kinds of diets to see if it will help your child
- feelings of guilt “did I make them this way?”
- fighting with the govt to get disability tax credit for your child
- the child having to go through hours of therapy every single day learning all the things that don’t come naturally to them
- the child having to learn to cope with a world that doesn’t cater to them
- the child having to bend and go against their own nature so someone can deem them “fixed”
- the child having to work on muscle groups that have a hard time forming like ours do.
- the child having to actually want to work
- the child having to be constantly engaged to keep them in our world
- the child having to learn to communicate with other people
- the child having the correct pathways in their brain so that they can actually make the connections they need
- the child having a parent willing to do what it takes to make this all happen
- 40 hours of various therapy a week
etc etc etc etc
Growing out of it my ass!! I want to give whoever thought of this “growing out of autism” concept a proverbial eff you. It’s called doing what it takes. It’s called children being diagnosed earlier so they get the therapy they need at the right time. It’s called having parents that will actually take the time to LEARN about their child. It’s called having a child that wants to learn and CAN learn. It’s called having the right DNA. It’s called a whole lot of hard ass WORK and a community coming together on the child’s behalf.
Fellow autism parents – keep it going. Add to my list. What’s it called to you? How is it looking in your home?
**click photo for source