Growing

It’s not something I necessarily choose to do, it’s just what happens in my head when I’m upset about something.  Reason comes knocking on the door and suddenly I’m looking at the situation in a positive light.

It might be a coping skill I’ve somehow gained in my years of dealing with the ebb and flow of stressful times.

I often do something lame like think of the lesson I’ve learned from the situation, I pick out the good things about it, I think upon the people who have it WAY worse than I do.

I can’t help it….I find it to be somewhat obnoxious.

Sometimes I want to sulk and cry and be completely unhappy about my situation.  I wanna moan and grump and say FML FML FML FML!!!  But I can’t for long.  I just can’t sit there in my head anymore.  I know better.  I guess I’ve grown.

I’ve grown enough to see a situation as even more growth.  I’m stressed out like CRAZY lately with my dog and money and kids and life etc etc etc.  It sucks.  I’ve been crying every day.  Today I almost dug myself a hole to go cry in.  But then I thought about my life, the path that I have chosen.  It’s so much a part of me that there just is NO running away from it.  It’s who I am and somehow I’m happy with that.

I think it really comes down to the fact that I have so much love.  Love really DOES pull us through.  It’s always in my heart and no matter what happens, I’ll always have it.  My kids can be at the other end of the world, or in Heaven but I will always have my love for them.

How freaking cheesy.  Especially cheesy because I just made myself cry again.

I have a home, a saggy dog that’s looking at me like I’m a god, I have two GORGEOUS boys, I have a husband who loves me and accepts me 100 times more than I ever deserve.  I’m learning how I want to be dealing with money and how we can stretch a dollar.

I am somehow blessed.  I am lucky.  This is just a crappy time I am going through.

It might be obnoxious (happy thoughts used to make me want to puke when I was down…depression LOVES more depression), but now I just cannot help making lemonade out of lemons.  Maybe I am a bit grown up and mature.  Maybe I am doing something right because it sure helps when you focus on the good.

taken from http://whatscookingamerica.net

Sometimes I breathe in and think upon what is good and when I breathe out I visualize the bad thoughts leaving.  It works.  It makes me feel better.

I know some of my loved ones are struggling right along with me.  I encourage you, as yucky as it can even feel to focus on the good, try it.  Breathe in the good and blow away the bad.  Taking in deep breaths of healing oxygen.  Drink and big glass of water and enjoy a change of attitude.

Our situations constantly change in and out of our control but we CAN change our attitude about it.

Anyway…I’ve cheesed myself out enough for today.  I need to go like…get another tattoo or something now.

*Update on Cleo*

Cleo is healing up nicely.  That’s what the vet said and she took out her stitches today.  All of the worrying is gone and I can’t wait till the scabs fall off and I can get in there with some shampoo and get it TOTALLY clean.  Her hair is white where she was bit and the infection turned the hair a fantastic shade of green.

After getting her cone off as suggested by the vet because it was making her condition worse, we gave her hot hot hot epsom salt compresses and daily doses of oil of oregano.  We made her eat before giving her the antibiotics and the puking stopped.  She’s now gladly eating plain kibble again without us having to soften it and add all kinds of bribery to it.

She’s back to herself and that is all I needed.  Her happy little loving self.  She’s spooning Silas and drifting in and out of sleep as she normally does.

It seems that what matter to me most was her health.  The money wasn’t nearly as hard as seeing my dog being SO hurt and sick.  Hearing her cry and cry and cry as I cleaned her wounds.  My poor, sweet Cleo.  We love her to pieces.  A constant relaxing, loving, sweet energy in the home is an incredible asset.  She blesses us so much.

 

Have something to say?  Please leave a comment below.  It would lift my spirits even more so!

3 comments

  1. Well, you made me cry specially because I fell exactly the same way, for different reasons (except the money part) but when I start feeling that crabby I just count my blessings , how much love I have from family and friends and that makes me feel so much better..next time you want to cry, come on over and I will help you 🙂

  2. Self talk the way you did it is such a life saver…..counting our blessings and knowing who is for us. Thanks for sharing those lessons with us. Tell Cleo I’m so glad she’s better. Roselle

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