Missing the Perk.

I need a pillow to scream into, or perhaps a punching bag.  It’s 7am and my son has been happily up and about now for about 45 minutes.  Whatever happened to crib play time?  Where did it go?  Why does my child suddenly need me at obscene hours of the morning?  He even woke up and was crying last night.  He hasn’t done that since I weaned him like 9 weeks ago.  I know his whole playing in his crib thing was really just a perk, most kids wouldn’t do it at all.  I was just hoping this little perk wouldn’t end in my last months of pregnancy when I needed sleep the most.  And perhaps when he wasn’t in a phase of waking up at 6 or 6:30 (or 5:30 yesterday) everyday.  I guess I’ll be going to bed at 8 every night from now on.  I fear I’ve done this, because I used his crib as a place of punishment a few times.  He didn’t stop playing the next morning though so I don’t get it.  At any rate, I’m completely exhausted and I feel like a explosion is near…on my part.  He also decided that he needed to be crying at 4am as well.  He hasn’t cried for any length of time since he was weaned.  I gave him more drugs and he went back to sleep only to wake up 30 mins later and crying harder.  So I gave him water, that didn’t help but he drank some anyway.  We just closed his door and let him cry himself to sleep.  We aren’t catering to such things, I’m glad I can be a hard-ass when I want to be.  His cry in the morning though, when I give him his toys and leave the room, it’s like I’ve left him there to die or something.  I want his crib thing to be fun and to be a choice.  I do admit letting him cry in there for a bit when we first started this routine but it wasn’t THIS cry.  It’s was just a whine and he stopped quickly.  Anyway, I needed to vent about this because I’m exhausted and grumpy.  I don’t think making it to church today is an option.  Brent just left because he’s doing sound and Silas is crying.

Funny how last night I was thinking of all the lovely things about being a mommy that I wanted to blog about.  Usually being a mommy is the best thing every and I’m rather joyous about it.  I think I’d be more OK about this stage if I wasn’t 34 weeks pregnant.  It’s mornings like this that make me absolutely terrified about what it’s going to be like to have two kids.  I need a good coffee right now.

On a different note, I cut Silas’ hair last night and he looks much better…his hair grows so fast around his crown so he ends up looking rather funny.  He’s all clean cut and darling now.