“I am under no obligation to make sense to people.” Brooke Hampton.”
A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today and it felt like I was finally given permission to blog…again.
REASONS WHY I STOPPED BLOGGING:
- Kids and shit.
- I don’t feel right making my kids lives public anymore. It hit me one day that maybe this isn’t a good idea, so what else do I write about? I needed a THEME, people. Well…I’m not a theme kinda person. I’m into all sorts of stuff…so maybe I’ll just start by writing about all sorts of stuff.
- I went from being Leah the over share-er to Leah the tight-lipped-don’t-offend-anyone-er. This came after being on a reality show with my family. Before I was unabashedly trusting of people. Then came the weird mind games and the people who did the nice thing to get the vote thing. I suddenly felt like my trust was a precious thing to give out to only a tiny few. But I don’t know if that’s really “me” or just “scared me”. But I’m not obligated to make sense to you…so I don’t really need to keep explaining myself.
- I felt like a small fish in a big sea. I have big ideas for myself but I always was so worried about writing the right content and content people would enjoy and not be offended by and yada yada yada. I’m alright with stopping that now. Artists make what THEY like and hope other like-minded people will find them. I’m becoming okay with people not liking me, or my writing, or my hair, or whatever. Not everyone likes marvelous things, just sayin.
(My son just came for a hug and said “kids and shit?”)
I am a terribly different person than I was when I began this blog…907 posts ago. What hasn’t changed is my ache to write and my ache to have a voice. As long as the voice is comfortably in her house and as long as the voice is also through written word and not through the, shudder, telephone.
Anyway, I grew up in a world and with an understanding that other people’s opinions of me were more important than my own opinion of me. This tends to eventually lead a woman to silence. Or it can. Or maybe I’m a weirdo. Who knows. The important thing here is that I love writing, I want to get better at writing, and so…I’m writing.