Oh plans, how we make them and how things always turn out differently. I was hoping to write a beautiful home birth story. For her to have been born into my hands in a pool in my living room. Alas, that’s not how it happened but it doesn’t make her coming earth side any less beautiful.
I had spent the entire day in a SUPER bad mood. I hadn’t expected to make it to my due date. Isaac had come a week early and Silas was born exactly on his due date. I expected this little girl to follow suit! I thought she would have come on the full moon as her brothers had done. Something happens to a woman on her due date….she gets ANGRY. I tried to lighten this awful, hateful mood it by going out my my family and playing but I ended up in tears as the whole “fun time” ended in screaming, angry children. Due dates suck.
I had my bloody show at exactly 11pm. Funny how something like that can bring ones mood from incredibly awful to totally elated. I knew it didn;t mean labour was happening that day or even that week but, any sign makes a woman in that circumstance happy.
It didn’t take long for me to start feeling a tad crampy, it was a matter of minutes before I told Brent that something may happen soon. He leaped into bed to get some rest. About 5 minutes later he was leaping out of bed to start to get things ready.
The big detour in my home birth plan was a positive group B strep test. It’s recommended that a mother get a dose of IV antibiotics as soon as active labour begins so that the baby doesn’t contract the bacteria. I decided to go along with recommendations which meant having to go to the hospital to get my first dose. Major bummer as half the reason I wanted a home birth was so I didn’t have to drive.
About thirty minutes after my “show” I had called my midwife and told her I thought I should go in. She listened as I had a few contractions and agreed. So we packed up the children, brought them to their auntie’s house and got to the hospital around 12:30am.
It takes so long to get everything together. To get checked in and then checked and then to get your antibiotics etc etc etc. I was already 6cms when I got there and contractions were picking up a lot. I waffled back and forth about staying or going back home but I suddenly knew I didn’t have time. Plus, I wanted to be in water NOW. I didn’t want to drive all the way home and then wait for the tub to blow up then wait for it to fill up. I asked the nurse if they had a tub room available (they did!) and off we went!
I was much happier in a tub. I was able to stay in control and use the hypnobirthing techniques I had been practcing. Anyone having a baby really needs to learn them. It is amazing what relaxing can do. Labour, up until transition was an absolute breeze. I was in the tub, totally calm and quiet. That has never been my experience with contractions, they usually are so painful! I could labour like that all day long!
Of course something weird happens when you hit transition, fear creeps in and your mind starts playing games. I started to worry that I wasn’t in transition and it was going to hurt like this for a long time. My instincts knew but I was being…a woman in transition.
There were lots of things I could have asked for to help my comfort level but I was so deep inside of myself that I couldn’t ask for anything anymore. I somehow managed to communicate that I was too hot and needed to be more upright because I could feel she wasn’t coming down far enough. I spent some time on the floor in the shower with a birth ball. The poor midwife kept thinking I was going to deliver the baby on the bathroom floor because I was definitely pushy. I still could tell the baby wasn’t down enough though. What I really wanted was for someone to break my water to bring her down but….I couldn’t speak.
Finally the midwife suggested we break my water, I somehow got out that I agreed and once that was done, the contractions hurt more than ever. Thankfully Brent stepped up and started helping me through which helped me regain my focus through the first few contractions. Then the strangest thing happened. Violet began writhing around with GREAT force. I’ve never felt anything like it, my whole stomach was moving. It was such an overwhelming feeling because she was so strong in that moment. She was doing her job of getting into the perfect position to be born. It felt amazing!
And with that, she entered the birth canal. Pushing was not the same this time. With Isaac it felt wonderful to push him out. This did not feel wonderful. Brent’s excitement as she crowned really helped encourage me along the way. She was born after 4 minutes of pushing, more like 4 minutes of panting so I didn’t tear. I was on my hands and knees and once she arrived, I sat back and looked at the bed and erupted with joy and laughter. There she was, my daughter!! With a full head of hair to boot! I scooped her into my arms and laughed and cried with Brent. My goodness what a vision she was, that vision shall never leave my head!
I did not go to sleep after that. I was wide awake, humming with that amazing birth energy and soaking her all in.