I’m writing this between sniffles. I just finished reading my Sis-in-law’s blog called Impressions By Leanne. She’s been writing down her story of having a baby at 28 weeks, the bed rest before that, and the trials that came. She’s an amazing writer and I’m left sobbing after every entry. It’s really a good read, she’s an amazing writer! Read it!! She’s Lucas’ mom by the way. The darling little boy who’s now strong enough to protest very loudly about being naked in a tub with my son.
I’m being naughty right now and having a Barqs with my sandwich instead of milk. But I used a whole avocado instead of half of one. That makes up for something right?
Last night I found myself daydreaming about Silas and thinking about how cute he was during the day. It’s funny how their obscene cuteness makes everything OK. I wasn’t thinking about how he cried for his sucky all morning or threw a million temper tantrums that night. I was thinking of how cute he was when he was playing with coins and putting them in the “bank” and how excited he was to throw a feather in the air and watch it float to the ground 500 times. He almost lost control of himself at Home Depot when we brought him to the wall of fans. He said “Fan fan faaaan fan fan fan fan”, his little voice literally cracking with joy. It was sad to take him away from it but he soon found ceiling fans that he could talk about. I think he was in heaven at that fan wall, he could have stayed there for hours and bathed in the glory of all the amazing fans, and they weren’t even spinning. At supper he made sure to blow on his bites of food even though they weren’t hot and he learned to say “oooo ya” just like Bon Jovi does (proud mom moment). He also laughed his guts out at Brent’s vocal impression of a whip and made Brent do it “again” 500 times. He tried it himself and made the whipping motion with his hands. These little things that toddlers do mean the world to their parents and families. Not everyone thinks it’s fantastic when he yells “ooooo ya!” as loud as he can in a restaurant, I think most people were annoyed but Brent and I had beaming smiles at the amazing cuteness of our son. Those little things, they do make up for the tantrums, screaming, kicking, biting, and all the other general brattyness that comes along with a toddler. (I just learned this moment on Ellen that a bagel with cream cheese has more calories than an egg McMuffin!) Parents have to be googly and crazy about their kids that way because otherwise we might throw them off the balcony. The cutest thing he’s done today was get his diaper changed and then come running up to me completely naked, diaper in hand a few moments later. I guess I didn’t get it on right, I was very thankful he showed me. He also brought me many little bits of things that he finds and said “thank you” every time (because I always say it).
This pregnancy is dragging on. But it’s also going by so fast. 1 week and 6 days left. I think pregnancy is harder to take when it’s almost over. You can taste the end and it almost teases you, especially in my case with this little booger being dropped for three weeks already! I was so hopeful to have him early when I found out he’d dropped but now I’ve given up all hope and I’m wondering what the doctor will do to induce me when I’m two weeks late. Gotta love those hopeless feelings. Gosh I’m hormonal. I can tell I’m hormonal because I’m not feeling very affectionate towards my hubs. I’m usually little miss cuddly, I still cuddle with my mom and step-dad, my brother, grandparents, close friends and whomever else I can get my hands on. For a week I just didn’t want to be touched by my husband, hands off!! No holding hands, no kissing, not even back tickles and I LOVE back tickles. Oh the hormones, they always affect me weird. I’m always pretty stable mood-wise. I don’t usually go up and down and get grumpy or anything, I just don’t want to be touched. Odd. Sometimes I wish I could get to the point where I’d fly off my rocker and yell and be all dramatic in the name of hormones, alas I can’t, I’m too practical with those things. Yelling would make people sad and cause problems, I’ll just be nice. Just don’t touch me. I’m still talking myself into this whole new baby being a good thing. I know deep down that of course it’s a good thing but it’s still terrifying. I thought it would be less terrifying because I know how much I’m going to love him, but I’m not thinking about that. I’m just thinking about losing sleep and a sore Vag J J and that horrible rash I got after having Silas. I’m not usually this pessimistic.
Well I think Jr. is sleeping now and my back is killing me from sitting so I’m going to go have my nap. Perhaps I wont have as weird of dreams as I did last night. Brent made out with his best friend Ryan and Silas was pregnant. WACKY!