Out of Control.

As I write this, my son is in his room screaming his face off. A moment ago he was sitting on my lap and I thought he was happy and then he tried to pinch me, and I said no so he flipped out. I stuck him in his crib. I know we’re supposed to help them deal with their emotions but I will NOT let him hurt me. He’s never actually been able to fully bite or pinch or scratch me, he hasn’t had that satisfaction but for some reason it’s what he’s craving. He doesn’t want me to cuddle or be tender, he wants me to be his punching bag and I WILL NOT let that happen. So he’s screaming in his crib. I turned on some music for him, I chose not to give him his soother because I think it’s giving him a false sense of calm. He’s obviously full of some sort of frustration right now so I’m letting it have it out in a safe place. Sometimes you just need to have a good cry right? I’m letting him have that. He’s really mad. This is the first time that I feel VERY out of control with this boy. I want to be understanding to him because I know he’s getting in all these terrible molars. How do you help him when he’s hurting you? It’s funny, perhaps he’s just like me, when I’m mad I want to kick and punch too, I usually just take it out on a pillow or the wall. I can’t show him that he can do things like that because he wont understand. I couldn’t care less if he bit and hit the crap out of a pillow, he needs to get rid of his frustrations. Anyway, I’m at a loss, the whole “help your child with their feelings” thing doesn’t seem to come into play when they’re trying to beat you. I think letting him freak out in his room like this will help a bit, I hope. I really hope it isn’t making him more frustrated. I guess I’ll know when I go in there, I really hope this works. I feel so out of control. Help?

 

happier.jpg

My little darling a week ago, the calm before the storm.

** So I let him cry until his cries went from mad to sad, then I picked him up and we had a very good cuddle.  The sun is shining so I brought him to the deck to continue our cuddle while getting some helpful happy rays, he’s out there squeaking and playing, I think my theory worked….for now.

10 comments

  1. I totally agree with you, sometimes you just need a good cry! Your a great mommy! Stay strong babycakes! haha!

  2. This seems pretty normal to me. Both my girls went through a violent stage and ended up spending time in their cribs until they figured out hitting and biting are not acceptable. You are doing the right thing. Good Luck!

  3. I read an article in the parenting magazine and it was talking about a little girl who always bit. Basically it said that if a child hurts you (biting) then you bite them back to show them that they’re hurting you. Im not for hurting kids, but sometimes they don’t know that they ARE actually hurting you. I’m not sure if I agree with this or not, seeing as how i have never had to deal with it, but i thiught i’d let you know. Hope he gets over that stage soon 🙂

  4. ya I um…can’t do that. I’d feel like a slime ball. I tried flicking him in the mouth when he bit my nipple once and I ran to my room crying my eyes out. I hated any sort of spanking as a child, it made me feel sick and unloved, I can’t do that to my kid, even if it wouldn’t make him feel that way.

  5. Oh i don’t believe that you should hit a child at all. I think that you may find “positive discipline” by Jane Nelsen intresting. It seems to fit your parenting style and might give you some good pointers.

  6. is Brent home already to help you with Silas , sounds like you could use some help. Leah you a good mother and you will make it thru this.

  7. Kristy- Thanks, I’ll look for that book.

    Roselle- Brent did come home from work early today to rescue me. Leanne and I got to go out for some mommy time. It was lovely.

    Silas’ tantrums did not cease tonight but the violence wasn’t nearly as bad. I’m thankful.

  8. I am against biting back because, for one, I am not sure how much pressure would be effective without really hurting…. I can BITE. My son has started to hit me in frustration and I tell him NO, but am at a loss at what else to do aside from getting his attention elsewhere, so I going to try putting him in his crib to see if that helps… Thanks!

  9. The crib thing seemed to work. He hasn’t really been violent since. I think he just needed a good freak out in a safe place where no one told him no.

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