I see my ankles now, it’s beautiful. All my water weight is off I think and I can see how beautifully slender my darling ankles are. That’s one of my favorite parts of having a baby. I’m also enjoying the ability to pee like a normal person. The pee just comes right out!! I don’t have to pee often and when I do there’s lots and it comes out easy. Isaac must have been sitting on my urethra.
I took a nice long walk this morning and it really helped my spirits. The first half I was still fighting back tears but by the second half I was feeling ok. The endorphins it releases really help the mood. MIL let me have a nice long nap again today. That was nice. I’ve really become accustomed to these naps. I used to never want to nap but now I really love it. I’m going to be sad when I can’t take them anymore, which is soon.
I’m really trying to fight this sadness I feel. I know exactly what to do, I’ve been depressed a million times before. I’m going to eat healthy, walk, not entertain bad thoughts, focus on the good and talk about it. This is war. I really don’t want to be medicated, been there before and I had odd side effects and then just became a zombie woman. I couldn’t pee, it was weird. And you can see from previous paragraphs that I like a good, free-flowing pee. I can’t give into this because it’s much harder to give in then to fight it. I hate how it makes me feel and I hate what it does to me. I’m not to a severe type at all right now, not the wanting to peel the skin off your face kind of depressed so I think I’ll be able to fight it off.
Ike’s bum continues to look better. I really don’t think it’s the diaper because it would be all over his bum then and it’s just by his bum hole inbetween his cheeks. I’ve been airing it out and not using the prescription stuff and it’s getting better. Weird. I really feel bad for that little bum. That’s a good sign, deep down I really do love this new life.