I knew I was in for it the moment after everything happened. I ran to the calendar, looked at the date and just as I suspected I was close to ovulating. GREAT!! I didn’t want to get pregnant again at all but I resigned myself to the possibility and gave myself a few kicks for not being responsible. I was counting the weeks until my period was supposed to arrive and when I thought it hadn’t, I bought a pregnancy test and it said negative. For some reason I just wasn’t convinced that I wasn’t pregnant, I know my body really well and this body felt pregnant. A few days later I went and bought another test and stared at it. The line turned pink so incredibly slow. I hated the anticipation. Once it was conclusive that I was indeed pregnant, I had a mini mental breakdown. There was a lot of breathing and sobbing and Silas laughing because he thought I was having a good time for some reason. I was a total mess, I did NOT want to be pregnant. Brent had no idea that I had taken another test and I didn’t want to call him at work so I waited for him to come home. I had to do something that afternoon with my sister Jennie and I’m sure she thought something was up because I was very quiet the entire time. When I got home, Brent was already home and in the shower. I quickly stuck Silas in his crib so he’d be safe, undressed and joined Brent in the shower where I told him we were pregnant, grabbed for him and sobbed. My husband takes everything in stride so he was very strong about it all.
For the first time in my life I felt like I could at least empathize with people who have abortions. I’d like to think I would never have one because I think they’re wrong but you can’t judge anyone until you’ve walked in their shoes. Everyone is a product of their life’s walk and now mine has shown me what it feels like to be scared and pregnant. Of course I didn’t really contemplate an abortion, there was no real reason for it aside from my own selfishness, I knew I would get over that eventually.
I can’t keep anything a secret so I went on to call my entire family and tell them the news. They were all totally in shock because I had just had a baby 9 months before and I wasn’t even close to talking about having another one. They were excited though, another new baby is so exciting. For everyone else that is.
It really took me a fair bit of time to accept the fact that I was indeed having this baby and it was a good thing. Now in my heart I know it’s an amazing thing and I’m so excited that Silas gets a little brother that is so close in age. I still am disappointed that I never got to plan a baby, Silas wasn’t planned either. Just a product of natural family planning gone bad. Well, it went very well for us in the end but you know what I mean. I have just over 9 weeks left of carrying this baby and I can’t wait to discover who he is. I’m terrified yet really calm about the entire thing.
I think it’s important that people know it’s normal to feel such feelings. I didn’t feel these things during my pregnancy with Silas but after I had him I wanted him to go away. It took me a long time to actually fall in love with the boy. I’m finding that most people I know haven’t planned their children either and have gone through similar emotions. Just know that if you are going through this too, it’s normal. Don’t feel guilty about it because you can’t help how you feel, just make sure you’re choosing to be positive!
The first 6 weeks after Sophie was born I swore I would never have a nother child. It was pure hell and I wanted her to go away all the time. Now I love having a baby, and I’m looking forward to having more kids. It’s a good thing women can forget the bad times with babies, otherwise we would be extinct
My mother had me and my sister 11 months apart. She went for her first 6 week gyn follow up visit and he asked her if she had sex.
She coyly said, “No, doctor.”
He said, “Well, this must be the immaculate conception. Congratulations, you’re pregnant.”
Wow, she got snagged!
we both can relate. i’m sure you know by reading my “when i found out i was pregnant” story as well. it sure came as a surprise. the first glance was negative, came back later.. and there was the extra line. the dreaded line. hahah. nah, but really.. i can’t wait to see where we are and how we feel in 3 months from now… with baby and all. thanks for your comment on my blog. i was thinking about you yesterday and how you are having two boys. at first, i wanted a boy.. now i can’t picture myself having one. do you think you will try for a girl, or just give up after 2?
Two children sounds really nice to me. I kinda like the idea of just having boys. In the end, it’s just two people to love.
Oh I so think you’ll have a third. maybe not for a bit, but the baby bug will hit you again 😉
I was shocked by the arrival of number 3, who was totally unplanned. As I’d totally planned the other two (and everything else in my life, for that matter), the fact that I could get accidentally knocked up really threw me for a loop.
That was the one pregnancy I didn’t run out and tell everyone about. I was oddly embarrassed about making this mistake and didn’t want to admit it to anyone (gee, think I’m a control freak maybe?). Some people didn’t know for months.
I loved her as instantly as the other two when she was born, but I did have this strange feeling that she’d just suddenly shown up and I didn’t know from where for a while – like, how did this happen? that I chalked up to her unplannedness.
Both our kids are accidents, and now I’m glad they’re as close together as they are.
That said, if you had a hard time after Silas, be aware that you may have a worse time after the new little dude. Make sure your support is in place. It’s REALLY hard to have a toddler and a newborn, and having help makes a difference.
I found with the second, there wasn’t as much time to luxuriate in being pregnant, which was sad. But it all turns out ok in the end. 🙂
im pregnant….. with a 4 month old baby. i found this out only last week and i have been upset and anxious, my partner is worried (about me, about our son, and about the baby to be) we are discussing what to do and are very open about the whole thing. It is all up in the air now and i feel all alone. There is an incredible support net around me and what ever decision we decide to make, this makes the choice harder, im lost id like to hear from people who have had babies so close together.
I’d be happy to talk to you about this. You can email me ugly_poodle@yahoo.ca. My babies wont be that close together but I definitely know your struggles. Email me!
I can totally empathize! I wanted my kids to be close in age, but never imagined I would have 4 kids in 3 years! Obviously we weren’t expecting to get pg with twins when we were trying after my oldest turned one and then I got pregnant with #4 when my twins were 3 months old!!! :O
You will do great. Yes, it’s hard, but you will learn short cuts and tricks and get your stride very soon. Good luck!
I’m sure that postpartum depression is alot more prevalent in mothers with unplanned children. It’s good to have a network of family and friends to help out as much as possible until the tough times are over (lol, wait, you have a toddler…have any relatives that can move in for say–the next 17 years?? lol.)
I came to check out your site (after you left me advice on my son’s skin) and had to let you know that I had a surprise pregnancy, too. My second son was only 6 months old when found out that I was pregnant again. I had only had one cycle and we obviously weren’t being very careful (yes, I knew I could get pregnant while nursing). I knew I was pregnant, but I took three negative pregnancy tests. I told myself I would take one more because I just felt like I was and I had been “warning” my husband the entire time. At two o’clock in the morning, I finally saw a positive test. Even though I had already convinced myself that I was, it was the biggest shock of my life. It has been easier than I thought, but so difficult at the same time. I wouldn’t trade my life for anything. I can’t wait to see how my boys interact as they get older.
I am passionate about anything and everything to do with pregnancy. Reading these comments, I realize how opposing our stories are, as I had difficulty getting pregnant, and suffered many miscarriages before finally conceiving my children. For women with fertility issues, it’s hard to hear complaints from women who get pregnant too easily. I try to help women who are struggling to get pregnant, and I also have a site for women who are looking for naturalways to induce labor at home.