As parents, we are all faced with this question eventually: “where do babies come from?”. We then break out in a cold sweat, was start to stutter, we panic, we don’t know what to say!!!
Ok, maybe not…cuz I’m kind of OK with that conversation with my kids and I’m sure that means a lot of you are too. But, some people aren’t so this is what I have done, it works! I’m here to help.
My kids love hearing about when they were in my tummy and how they kicked me and wiggled their toes in my ribcage. They love hearing that I pushed them out and they cried and cried and all the stories that go along with that. So obviously, questions come up!
I’m not OK with lying to my kids. So much so…we don’t even do Santa. So the stork option is out of the question for me when we have this talk and so is any other form of untruths. I really do think there’s something to that. No I don’t judge if you do Santa or Elf on the Shelf (whatever that is) or whatever with your own children. I just like…to not.
So, with some of my sister’s influence, I came up with my own thing. I don’t think it’s wrong to discuss sexuality and how things work to kids when they ask, no matter WHAT age. What I DO think, is that it needs to be age appropriate. No I’m not going to tell them the gritty details but I do tell them the truth.
Up until now, my kids know that Daddy puts a little seed into Mommy’s tummy and that grows and grows and turns into a baby! Then when the baby is ready, Mommy pushes it out! See…no problemo. They’ve come to their own conclusions that the baby comes out of Mommy’s belly button and sometimes they ask if Mommy ate them to get them into her tummy. I just either not comment and definitely correct them on the eating part.
Of course they may have more questions like: “How does Daddy put the seed in there?” of course I don’t want to tell them THAT (yet), so I stole a line from my sister, Jill. “Mommy and Daddy have a special hug” or you could even say that he uses his wand…that’s not lying. Euphemisms are your friend!
Anyway, those are my tricks. When they get older, things will get more…graphic…I guess. They did see an elephant give birth on Oasis the other day and both had NO idea what they were seeing! I heard “EWWWWWW GROSS what was that!?” I told them it was a baby being born and they’re all like “there’s BLOOD involved!?!”….sometimes darlings…sometimes…shhhhhhhhh…you weren’t supposed to see that yet. Good conversation starter though.
I truly believe that discussions about sexuality with your children are SO IMPORTANT! Girls, too often grow up with super unhealthy ideas about sexuality. The media takes all the nitty gritty out of it and it can cause a girl to be ashamed of what her body does at the time. Boys need to be taught to respect women, it’s their mom’s duty to let them in on some secrets that only women know about. Not just about what happens in the sack (we can only tell them so much before that gets too awkward and they run screaming) but how sex starts in the kitchen for us women. Teach them to do all the things that every woman wishes her husband would do…thus creating a healthier sex life for them…and you can do that without even mentioning sex. I think the worst thing we can do is ignore the subject.
So what’s your tips and tricks? How do you answer those questions with your kids?
oooh, juicy topic; it sucked me right in… 🙂 I agree, don’t make it taboo! Talk about it and answer their questions in an age appropriate way. Seeing animals (for us it was elephants and the Calgary Zoo, good grief) is perfect. What a great teachable moment. Even without telling the child that’s how Mommy and Daddy made you the child usually has that “light bulb” moment when their brains are ready. The worst worst worst thing you can do is allow your child to become over sexualized by watching inappropriate TV shows, playing with skanky looking toys and reading Cosmo! It’s proven by science now people, stop it! The best thing you can do is be honest and show your child a loving affectionate relationship between you and your partner.
When we finally got to the moment where we explained what the “special hug” involved, it was truly anti-climactic. And they promptly forgot. My boy asked us only a week later how birds could have babies if they don’t kiss. They really do make up their own versions of things.
My sons were almost 4 and 2 when I was pregnant with my daughter. We talked about the baby all the time and they came to my pre-natal appointments (because babysitters are expensive). When my oldest son asked me how the baby was going to get out I was not prepared so I told him “She would come out my vagina” this satisfied his curiously. A few days later he asked me how daddy got the seed in, did I swallow it? I laughed (hard) and asked if he remembered how the baby got out (he did) and I told him it got in the same way….