Gosh I love it when Thursday’s come around, then someone ELSE tells me what to blog about and I can just let my brains and my fingers spew my prattle all over your computer screen. So I chose the topic: 5 Things That Bring Me Comfort. Because I like comfort, and I like talking about me.
1.These little blue pills. When my uterus turns into a crime scene, when it feels like someone baked a loaf of bread in my stomach, when all I want to do is cry into my wine and chocolate, when it feels like someone is stabbing my baby maker with a pitchfork…this is what saves the day. Nothing is going to stop me from wanting to strangle anyone who crosses me, or looks like they might cross me…or people who are near me, or looking at me….or breathing in my airspace. But this mighty blue pill gets rid of the pitchfork…so then I’m more able to strangle those people.
2. Drinking coffee out of my Dr Oz mug. First, it reminds me of all the good times Dr Oz and I had….ya know…sitting…chatting about my nipples. That makes me happy. It also makes me happy that I add so much cream and he would be all like “noooo you didn’t” and I’m all like “yeah I’m doing it…whatcha gunna do Dr Oz?? HUH?”. Also coffee is warm and delicious and it makes me feel like my mornings are worth being alive for. Oh coffee, I wish I knew how to quit you.
3. My squishy squahsy hound dog snuggling me on the couch. This happens often but the comfort it brings me has not lessened. It is fantastic. She is warm and soft and squishy and she’s definitely good-looking. Honestly, I would go batshit crazy without this girl. Totally “cray-cray” as the kids are saying these days. Plus this girl likes to spoon and spooning is the pinnacle of comfort, she’ll take front or back and she’s perfect because she’s all body and no leg. No offense peeps but this bitch is my girl. I’d rather hang out with her than most people at any given time…what’s sad is that totally reflects on me…and not you.
4. My bed. Because my sheets are purple. Because it’s warm and really soft. Because it always looks like the picture you see (it totally does not ever look like that photo…I took the photo the day I bought those sheets and duvet cover). Because sleeping is comfortable. Because I have a body pillow in there. Now to find a way to get my husband his own bed. That would up the comfort level quite a bit.
5. Now I really must point out that these things are in no particular order. Because this next one is of the utmost importance to me. It’s the sweet sweet elixir of comfort and joy and it makes everything better. EVERYTHING!!! It’s scary how much I can hold without feeling a thing. No, I actually do not get drunk with it…getting drunk on wine is like purposely licking a petri dish full of the stomach flu virus. Stupid plan folks. Stupid plan. Oh wine, I feel like it’s my life juice. I long for it as a vampire longs for blood. It’s part of what sustains me. It goes well with everything I’ve noted above, especially #1. Right now this is my flavour of choice.