Closing In

Walls slowly closing in, losing my mind. Can’t fit life into 500 square feet.  Wanting my own things, getting kinda sad.  WANTING TO FREAK OUT!!

Am I just spoiled or am I normal for almost losing my mind in this situation?  I’m slowly getting more unhappy in this dwelling.  I feel bad for feeling unhappy because in some places this place is luxury and they’d fit like 10 people in here.  I guess I’m a product of my past and in the past I’ve gotten more accustomed to not living in such close quarters that’s so incredibly full of furnishings.  I AM GRATEFUL, but I’m just wanting my own space now.  Just like when I was in Europe, I was so happy to be there but I eventually just wanted to go home.  BUT if you’ll look at the calendar, you’ll notice I get my house next week.  There’s still 12 days but technically that’s next week and that’s what’s keeping me going right now.  Perhaps knowing that there was a time where I lived in a one room shack with my parents and four siblings and my mom got through that without completely losing her mind (I think) helps me do this without too much of a hitch.

This weekend my patience totally went out the window.  Silas was driving me nuts.  I’m glad I just took an hour to enjoy the beauty of Costco.  I didn’t enjoy spending 100 bucks on merchandise that makes it possible for my children to defecate though.   I didn’t have much time to look at the fun stuff either but I enjoyed my time with Juliet and without any children to bother me.  Jules and I were waiting in line to get a delicious sample of lemonaid and this little boy was infront of us.  he was probably about 10 years old and when it came to his turn he motioned to Jules and I to go first.  A true gentleman.  I hope my boys behave that well.  He was a darling.

We need to get to Jennie’s house to do our laundry now.  Ho hum.  I can’t wait to have my washer and dryer back too.  remeber Leah, your mom and sisters washed your dirty cloth diapers by hand…..REMEMBER!!

2 comments

  1. It is totally understandable that you’re feeling cramped most of us would. Next week, 11 days from now you will my dear be in your very own home. Then this time will fade into the past,like so many unpleasant happenings. I’m praying for you right now, may God grant you the strength you need.

  2. I lived in a tiny apartment with two windows on the ground level (meaning, tiny windows that looked at people’s feet) for over a year, and I swear that it added to my depression… so I can totally understand how a small place can get to a person. I am very thankful that I only had a husband and a cat to deal with, not a husband and two kids! Your new place will come soon, and it will feel like a palace after this.

    Just think – I might have a new baby next week! ::squee!:: Maybe I’ll give birth as you are moving (I honestly hope it’s before then, but you never know!)

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