Dr. Appointment Today

Autism…autism?? The A word?? The doctor made me say it a couple of times to get used to it…she showed me where the tissues were and made sure I was going to have a good cry when I get home. Made sure I would be ok and that Brent will be ok.

He pointed out so many more signs in Silas than I ever noticed before. Is anything about him really…HIM????? Yes, there’s gotta be. He’s such a special boy.

Everything he does right now that’s typical autistic behavior is making me feel like throwing up. I just want him to stop it and be a typical boy.

Welp, I guess this blog aint ever going to get boring.

My whole goal as a mother is to raise my children to be their authentic selves. It’s hard when Silas really…isn’t?? right now….??

So now Leah has to be super duper mom. Every moment is a moment to attempt to bring Silas out of this. To get him functioning as a typical child.

I’m glad I don’t know where to start right now. I just want to cry and drink wine and eat pizza. I think anyone would see this as a good time for such a thing…no?


  1. Ok, this is where I start to give you advice.
    I know that right now you’re feeling like the whole world is crushing down on you. But don’t let it. You and brent are stong parents, you’ve got support, there’s help for both you guys and for Silas. Don’t look at things on a large scale, think of everything more like small bumps in the road. You will get through this.
    As for comfort foods, don’t let this bring you back to eating junk…I’m one to talk eh?
    You’ve worked so hard to get your body back where you want it and it would be horrible if you let yourself go because of all the stress…TRUST ME I KNOW!
    I’m here for you.

  2. Know that I’m crying with you…all of you. Comfort food today sounds like a good idea to me.And now I shall check out Autism.

  3. We all must pray for God’s surrounding presence and peace like C. Froese said above. And in addition we must all seek His quideance and direction in our lives and in dealing with Silas’ situation. Seek Him first.

  4. Thanks for the e-mail. I’m very shocked.

    Crying and praying, crying and praying… what else can I do… I love you Guys, Dad

    I won’t stop praying.

    I’m phoning Grandma and Gramps right now.

  5. Hugs. Tears. More hugs.

    I ate two boxes of chocolate covered almonds after I got the news. I thought I was eating half healthy, but then I read the label and one of the ingredients was “resinous glaze”. I looked it up and apparently it’s a pretty name for shellac, the excretion of a certain type of beetle. Perhaps not so very different from honey, except that it’s harvested beetles-and-all.

    Have I distracted you from the A-word for a couple minutes? It worked for me momentarily.

  6. I read your post earlier today and wanted to comment but my words failed. They still do but this one thought has remained in my mind this evening – the Creator of Silas knows who Silas is and what he will need and how perfectly perfect he is – and the Creator of Silas also knows you and loves you. May His knowing arms embrace you, tightly.

  7. When I was feeling nervous about having a baby someone said this to me:

    God created you and knows you in and out. God created your baby and knows him in and out. And God chose you to be his parents. And God knows what He’s doing.

    May you feel his overwhelming presence and peace in the coming days as you adjust to this new reality. And I’ll be prayin’ for ya!

    I really think there are few people as creatively equipped to work with this as you.

  8. …another thot Leah you will continue to be the same great mom you’ve always been.Right now I want to hear Silas sing Praise God from whom all blessings flow….I’ll see if I can find it.

  9. I’m sad. I’ve had a tightness in my chest all evening, and prayers that are hanging in the air. We love you all so much and are completely ready to support and help and encourage in any way we can.

  10. im sorry to hear this news… on the bright side he has you and Brent and from what i have read in your blog and picked up from you as a person you have strength, creativity and determination and i think you will make something good out of this heart breaking situation. and i can see there is a lot of people who are ready to support you, Silas and your family at any time. our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  11. You’re in my thoughts and I wish I could send you a big pizza! It sounds like you have a great support system, take advantage of all the love that surrounds you!

  12. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys. I also pray for your extended family and friends as they help and support you.

  13. I have a special needs son who has many autistic like traits and would be happy to start a discussion with you as you need…. he is now almost 13.

    Put one foot in front of the other everyday!

  14. You and I already talked but you have enough faith and are strong enough this will be just another thing you push through. I can’t wait to get to know you and your family more, thank you for inviting me to your blog…xoxoChristi

  15. Why, oh why did I read your blog today? Yesterday I could have handled it and given you sage advice and shared love and concern. However, when Rick asked me how I was doing today, I said, “I’m emotionally unstable.” So I have no words … just big tears and prayers. Love you!

  16. I wish I could reach across the border and give you a big hug.

    One of my friends, whose son was diagnosed with autism, said she was reading a book with a great quote that helped her change her perspective a bit. Here it is …

    You’re going to plan a trip. You decide to go to France! You do all the planning, packing and necessary things to prepare for this amazing trip and you are expecting everything that France can offer. When you get off the plane, the flight attendant says “Welcome to Holland!” And you think, “wait, I was going to France! Holland is beautiful and the tulips are lovely, but my trip was planned for France”.

    As parents – it’s so hard. We think we are going to have a baby and everything is going to be grand, but somehow we all have surprises along the way – totally unexpected and sometimes very scary surprises. For obvious reasons it makes us stronger and more compassionate of others.

    You will do a fantastic job helping Silas along – you are already an amazing mom, Leah and he’s an amazing kid!

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