Getting a Grip

I’m so at the end of my rope today. I want to smash things. I want to cut myself. I want to yell and scream and kick holes in the walls.

So…instead of bitching…I’m going to focus on the good for a moment to calm myself down.

Good things:

1.  I have a delicious, wonderful , supportive, intelligent, hunky, caring, understanding, giving, super duper wonder husband who I love love love love and he love love loves me lots and lots and lots.

2. My kids are the most dreamy and beautiful children I’ve ever seen.

3. I have great hair (don’t call me vain…I’m cheering myself up okay!?)

4. I like my ankles.

5. I have my own home and it’s safe and it’s comfortable.

6. I never feel like I need materialistic things to make me happy…and I like that about me.

7. I have wonderful sisters who are putting up with my messy life right now.

8.  I live in a wonderful country with a great health care system.

9.  Someone is paying for Silas to get diagnosed.

10.  Someone WILL step up to babysit Ikey during the diagnosis (I have faith)

11.  Both of my kids are smart.

12. The sun in shining.

13. I know I don’t talk about my faith on here but I do have a greater power I believe in who doesn’t mind it when I’m a mess, He’s holding my hand.

14. I may not have many friends but the ones I have are amazing people.

15. I get to live 3 mins away from someone who has all the same parenting and faith beliefs as me (mostly) and she happens to be my sis in law so I get to keep her forever.  Plus she’s incredibly intelligent and grounded and inspiring, boy does that make my life easier.

16. Despite the step down in pay, Brent’s new job will keep us secure through the recession.  He got in at the right time.

17.  I’m starting a new money making adventure but I’m not talking about it yet because I don’t need any more Debby Downers…but I’m STOKED about it 🙂  I’ll tell you about it when I’m making money.  It’s something I have an extraordinary passion for and I’m already in love with the people I’m working with.

k…going for 21 positives.

18.  My kids make me laugh.

19. I make myself laugh….I’m funny okay?

20. I have at least 100 people who find my daily rantings interesting…oddly enough.

21.  This one is for the secret things you can’t know about 🙂

There…positives. I don’t wanna be the person who passes the negative thinking onto her kids.  I needed a kick in the pants from myself.  I started bitching (sorry about the cussing) on my blog and then I was thinking LEAH  THIS IS INSANITY!! GET A GRIP GIRL YOU’RE LOSING IT!!!

So I feel better.  I was obnoxiously uppity to my kids which makes them smile and that made the sun poke through the clouds inside me.  So trying to stay positive.  I am a fighter in some areas and my sanity is one thing I can fight for.  I’m a smart person, I can maintain a grip on myself.  I wont let this get the best of me.  My circumstances will NOT get the best of me.  NO NO NO!!