There have been many people that have witnessed me saying that there’s no way I would ever ever ever have a baby again. There’s also been blogs about how I feel like I can’t because Silas took up so much of our lives and that I was scared we would make someone else with autism.… Continue reading Making a Person
Dear new mothers, From the moment you know you’re pregnant, it begins. You’re part of the new mother’s club. You begin to compare, she’s carrying higher and she’s carrying lower, she’s growing fast and she’s growing slower You’ll be jealous of people who are farther along then you and feel better than the women behind. … Continue reading To All The New Mothers
I’ve been sitting here fiddling around with my blog. Dusting off the old bloggy shelves so-to-speak. I was giddy about the prospect of blogging later in the day when I realized I wont have time and I got to blog NOW!! Woot. Since it has been ages, I thought I should give you a point… Continue reading Update
Oh my, Silas just tantrumed forrrrr….30 minutes. Yup…30. I didn’t sustain any injuries but that’s partly because I locked Isaac and I in the bathroom. Then, dodging Silas, I ran and locked us in Isaac’s bedroom, holding the door closed with my feet so I could safely get clothes on Isaac and get him into… Continue reading What Our Tantrums Are Like
The love I have for my children is the most vulnerable and scary love in the whole world. You put your heart out as far as it can go, almost naively, without knowing how easily broken it is. I think every mother’s heart gets broken. Some get broken more, some less. This most beautiful… Continue reading The Diagnosis Blues
I’m so at the end of my rope today. I want to smash things. I want to cut myself. I want to yell and scream and kick holes in the walls. So…instead of bitching…I’m going to focus on the good for a moment to calm myself down. Good things: 1. I have a delicious, wonderful… Continue reading Getting a Grip
OOOO I just had the best morning!!! The planets aligned or something because oh my, the best snuggle ever. Silas wanted out of his room so I snatched him up and brought him to be bed for a quick snuggle. Isaac was just starting to whine so I thought it would be quick but he… Continue reading The BEST Snuggle
I often find myself in my kid’s rooms every night, staring at their faces, trying to kiss them and smell them as much as possible without waking them up. There’s nothing as adorable as a sleeping child so I try to somehow embed their image in my mind so I can remember it later. The… Continue reading Sleeping Babies
I’m going through this phase in my life where I’m getting really sick of our American culture. It’s so much about consuming. Consuming food, consuming “must have” clothes and products, self medicating through consuming. Buy buy buy and then buy some more because what you first bought isn’t good enough anymore. I especially have trouble… Continue reading A Vent and A Challenge
As I write this, Silas is playing the cutest game. He has his “Tebby” bear and is going through his own night time routine. He gives it a little cuddle, a kiss and a hug and says “WHUUUHHH” like he’s being squished. Then he places Tebby gently in my bed and closes the door verrrry… Continue reading Pretending
MY HUSBAND! For the best valentines day gift ever. What is it you ask? It’s the new Dirt Devil Kone hand vacuum cleaner. How romantic hey? I had to poke, I had to prod, I had to remind but I made my romance happen and my floors clean at the same time. This stemmed… Continue reading And The Award Goes To….
Last night Brent and I had our Valentines date. We did it a day late just because I didn’t feel like dealing with busy restaurants. It’s better this way. Anyway, we went to this local place and had a really fantastic waitress, she was hilarious. We got some stuff mushroom caps for a starter and… Continue reading GLOW BOLWING!
I get this feeling every night as I sneak into my children’s room and tuck them in while they sleep. I feel completely and totally vulnerable. For some reason seeing my sleeping children remind me of how delicate they are, how easily they could slip from my fingers. My hear suddenly fills with this feeling… Continue reading A Mother’s Love
You know, there’s something I’ve really been taking delight in lately. It’s the bond that Silas and Isaac are forming. It’s how much they actually care for each other. It’s such a beautiful sight. Silas has been a great big brother thus far. He accepted Isaac into our home and seemed to somehow (primal instinct?)… Continue reading Brothers
I love your beautiful cheeks, they get so darn rosy. I press them against mine and hold you tightly and rock back and forth. The flood of warmth fills my core and I feel painfully and intoxicatingly in love with you. Gosh it hurts. I love your eyes, how they look so much like mine… Continue reading Stay Like This