So, I’ve done it. I’ve bit the bullet and I have a counseling appointment this evening with my counselor from 3 years ago. I really like her :).
Before I got pregnant with Isaac I never thought I would be dealing with depression ever again. I was doing SO well. I was even really skinny. Once I had the unexpected pregnancy and all that other stressful stuff happened I just started going down hill.
I’m just finding myself, after the storm. I’m realizing that my self esteem has plummeted and I’m tucking myself away in my house and getting more and more antisocial. It’s always been hard for me to get Silas out of the house but with having Isaac and then the peanut allergy I’ve gotten WAY worse. These kids are pretty lucky, they have way more than I did at their age. And I think they get pretty good treatment but I still think they need to get out of the house despite my ability to be perfectly “fine” not stepping foot outside for an entire week. It’s SO important to not let my mental issues get in the way of how I raise my children.
Anyway, I’ve accepted my issues and now I just want to work through them with someone. My counseling sessions usually consist of me pretty much figuring it all out myself…I guess that’s how she does it though, she guides and asks all the right questions. She does some neato treatments too. Anyone who’s ever had traumatic experiences should try out EMDR, it’s weird but amazing.
Now that I know I’m messed up, I’m not going to waste time staying like this. Time to get better for my family so I can be the best that I can be for them. And for myself obviously. I just think that I only get to be in my 20’s once, I want to feel good while I’m young. I want to actually feel young and not haggard.
So that’s that. I’ll let you know how everything progresses. I feel better just knowing that I’m going to have some help. Hopefully I’ll inspire someone else to go talk to a pro. It truly is a great experience once you find the right person for you.