I’m happy Obama won!
Oh the day after election day. You either have a hop in your step or you’re going over your plans to build a bomb shelter under your home. Feels good, doesn’t it? Ya ya ya, I know I’m Canadian but this election was fun…I even watched some of the debates and partook in twitter conversations. Actually, it was the only conversation to have on twitter some nights…so I just went with it.
Most of us are tired because we waited up for Obama to finally freaking talk to us. My pointer finger is a bit sore too…I was hitting redial on the fax machine to get my friend’s vote in….it only took about 2000 tries to get through. Obama should have bought us all coffee.
Anyway, a Canadian friend on Facebook, after hearing a lot of his friends wahooing over Obama’s win, asked people why they were so happy about Obama’s victory. So, being the brat that I am…I came up with a list of reasons that I (at least) found amusing. I was hoping to sound dumb while entertaining the Canadians who’ve paid a bit of attention to the election…
- His wife has the best arms in America.
- His daughter’s name is Malia and when he says it, I hear “my Leah” and it feels like he’s talking to me in a really personal and intimate way.
- He’s black and black is the new black.
- People say he’s the anti-Christ. People have been waiting years for Jesus to come back so that should mean it’s happening soon. Those doomsday predictor people are usually BANG on.
- It was fun seeing Donald Trump throw a hissy fit on twitter about it.
- Nathan Fillion loves Obama.
- Obama is fun to say!! “Obama Obama Obama”. Plus it’s even more fun when people use his name as a bad thing…cause it’s so close to Osama…and they think that’s a legit reason to not vote for him.
- I saw him eating pizza once and that’s my favourite food.
- It’s impossible to turn his name into the nickname “mittens”.
- Romney has a herd of children. That’s enough for one man to have to deal with.
- Mittens is Mormon but he only has one wife! Any man who has an actually free ticket to multiple wives and doesn’t take it…they are suspicious to me. (no offense kind mormons…just jokes.)
- I like Obama’s smile when Romney says something stupid.
- Mit is a bit orange. He’s likely to have a problem with skin cancer during the next 4 years and that’ll make being president a bit hard.
- Obama’s funnnnnny.
- Michelle wears pretty dresses.
- Obama will get stuff done while Romney will be too focused on getting more ships into the Navy…and figuring out why we have fewer horses and bayonets than we did 100 years ago. Also he will be researching what these weird ships are…that go underwater. Obama’s got that shit figured out already.
- Romney has binders full of women…and that’s just creepy.
- At the final debate, Romney said “I’m going to create 12 million jobs” and then 45 minutes later he said “government does not create jobs” and I was all like…”Go home Romney, you’re drunk!”
taken from Know Your Meme
Have a good day!
I love this…I mean like love it love it. The picture helps, but the list is fantastic. Black is totally the new black, and pizza IS awesome 😉 Great post lady!! I’m sharing this! Should help lighten the mood…or get me gunned down by some rifle-totin’ conservatives. I’m hoping for the first one 😉
Jen recently posted..My Weekend with a Rockstar
please don’t get shot! And thanks for sharing!!
You know how you hate it when people use ‘retarded’ and ‘autism’ synonymously? That is how Mormons feel when you use the word Mormon and polygamist interchangeably. I can appreciate the humor in this, but that particular part was in poor taste. Just how America needs to understand that autism is not retardation, they also need to understand that no real Mormon has been a polygamist for over a century or more.
Thanks, I will put a disclaimer. 🙂 I just figured that was a given. AND my son with autism was diagnosed as “retarded” as well. I don’t like people using the word retarded in a negative way. Like saying “that’s retarded” about something they don’t like. Or calling someone who did something distasteful “retarded”. Again. Sorry to offend and I fixed it 🙂
I agree and I don’t like when people call my autistic son retarded in a negative or joking way either. Kinda like how I don’t appreciate it when people talk about my religion in a negative or joking way. I guess similar to autism, education and exposure are the only real way to combat negative steriotypes. Mitt is only 1 in about 7 million after all. I didn’t mean to turn this into a weird political post or anything. Just pointing out that to most Mormons, that kind of joke is in poor taste funny or not. Have a good day.
No one has ever called my son “retarded” other than the doctor. It’s not just about them calling HIM retarded, it’s about hearing it like it’s a bad thing. People with developmental delays bring so much light into their world so using that word like it’s a bad thing makes me blood boil. I’ve also known the feeling of offense when it comes to religion. Again, didn’t want to hurt feelings.
Polygamy was condemned by the Mormon community circa 1890. Indeed, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints (referred to henceforth as “LDS”) will currently excommunicate any congregation members found to be in participation with the practice of polygamy. The general public’s understanding of polygamy within the Mormon religion within its first few administrations is largely misconstrued. Most people picture men roaming around courting multiples when in truth, Mormons have always believed very strongly in fidelity; the modern-day stigma comes from ex-comm fundamentalists that have garnished publicity. In fact, early Mormon scripture (I say early because they have re-written their bible once or twice in the last 100 years and want to be clear that this has been in their scripture since the beginning) clearly speaks out against such behaviour, labelling it a sin. Here are some verses from the Book of Mormon for reference:
“Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none” – Jacob 2:27
“Riplakish did not do that which was right in the sight of the Lord, for he did have many wives and concubines.” – Ether 10:5
Polygamy in early Mormonism was actually validated in Doctrines & Covenants, a secondary book of Mormon scripture. Think of it as their Leviticus. It’s 132:61-62 and it reads:
“If any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another,and the first give her consent, and if he espouse the second, and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then is he justified; he cannot commit adultery for they are given unto him; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto him and to no one else. And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified.”
Clearly the idea here was not to disgrace the holy institution of marriage. Rather, their scripture implies that women are commodities, similar to cattle or goats; and that as long as the new woman had not engaged in sexual intercourse with another man prior, and as long as any previous wives had given their consent, then a man could be gifted additional wives. I’m almost certain that in a time where women were largely regarded to be possessions (at the very least, second-class citizens) that they had the confidence to exercise appropriate levels of self-esteem and utilize their own good judgement in the face of their misogynistic husbands. Legit.
In this light, I fully agree with Mandy regarding the tragic misconception that all Mormons are polygamists. Indeed, unintelligent or ignorant and fearful minds see and believe what they want and in terms of Polygamy within LDS that is the case, no thanks to recent reality TV phenomenon “Sister Wives”. I would like to point out however, that the stigma of polygamous Mormons in LDS is much more socially acceptable than being labelled as church of racists.
This actually happened in the late 70’s. Yes, the 1970’s.
Up until 1978, people of color were not allowed into the priesthood of LDS. True story. Their beliefs are outlined in the scriptures below:
“And he had caused the cursing to come upon them, yea, even a sore cursing, because of their iniquity. For behold, they had hardened their hearts against him, that they had become like unto a flint; wherefore, as they were white, and exceedingly fair and delightsome, that they might not be enticing unto my people the Lord God did cause a skin of blackness to come upon them.” – 2 Nephi 5:21
Later on, referring to the same group of cursed people who saught redemption and forgiveness from the Nephites (god’s chosen people), listed here just in case the reference to skin pigmentation wasn’t clear enough…
“And it came to pass that those Lamanites who had united with the Nephites were numbered among the Nephites; and their curse was taken from them, and their skin became white like unto the Nephites;” – 3 Nephi 2:14-15
And here is how the Book of Mormon explains why Africa is full of black people:
“Now this king of Egypt was a descendant from the loins of Ham, and was a partaker of the blood of the Canaanites by birth. From this descent sprang all the Egyptians, and thus the blood of the Canaanites was preserved in the land. The land of Egypt being first discovered by a woman, who was the daughter of Ham, and the daughter of Egyptus, which in the Chaldean signifies Egypt, which signifies that which is forbidden; When this woman discovered the land it was under water, who afterward settled her sons in it; and thus, from Ham, sprang that race which preserved the curse in the land. Now, Pharaoh being of that lineage by which he could not have the right of Priesthood, notwithstanding the Pharaohs would fain claim it from Noah, through Ham, therefore my father was led away by their idolatry;” – Abraham 1:21-24,27
It is also worthy to note that Joseph Smith (founder of Mormonism) spoke against the abolishment of slavery on behalf of the Mormon faith.
As I mentioned, whites were the chosen people and were the only ones allowed into the priesthood. Bringham Young (Joseph Smith’s successor, dubbed “American Moses”) stated that blacks would “only be allowed entrance to priesthood after the ressurection”. This was around the same time that he imposed the death penalty for interracial marriage; at any right, he was a great, polygamous white man and went on to found the great Salt Lake City and become the governer of Utah. His words held true until the years following civil rights champions Rosa Parks & MLK Jr brought a flood of outrage to the doors of LDS. In 1978, the US Government imposed an ultimatum: Let blacks in, or your religious organization loses its tax-exempt status.
Their reaction: “How could we have been so blind as to miss the resurrection?! This has been a revelation from God! Come in and welcome, black people; We’ve been expecting you!” I’m obviously paraphrasing, but it’s a matter of public record and if anyone is interested, the internet is a veritable cornucopia in terms of wealth in knowledge.
This being said I would definitely take the “sexual deviant” card over that awkward “what do you mean, “YOU PEOPLE?” moment, but that’s just me personally. I’ve always viewed the recent polygamy stigma to be a blessing in disguise for the Mormon church. Personal opinions aside, I just wanted to assist you in vindicating the LDS of any such implications of polygamy as I am friends with several practicing Mormons and consider the collective faith to be largely built of good-hearted and kind people.
I did however, wish to ask you where the author of this blog used the world ‘polygamist’ interchangeably with ‘Mormon’ to invoke such a politely combative, yet apparently unnecessary correction and defensive statement. Also, to point out that she just plain hates the word “retarded” when used outside of its intended medical implications, not when used synonymously with autism.
First of all, the picture… amazing.
Second, the picture… amazing.
Third, what is creepy about binders full of women? Sure, nowadays we keep our little red book on our iPad, but if I gave Mitt credit enough to use a tablet, I’m sure it would probably be an Asus or something. So if he DID have an Asus, he has probably recognized it ain’t too reliable and that the binders of women have never let him down.
As far as the Mormon/polygamy debate goes, it is hard to take ANY religion serious that says it has an infallible word of God and then changes its mind in the next generation after it’s creation. I mean, I can understand a couple thousand years of religious evolution to mutate the founder’s ideas, but less than 20 years? Hmmm… The fact is that after being expelled from the United States, Utah wanted in and the only way to get in was to obey the law and the law said NO POLYGAMY. It was a political flip flop, not a spiritual conversion.
Kool-Aid Stand This Way ->
I don’t even know what an Asus IS! He should probably stick with those binders.
And THANK you for your historical comments on Mormonism. I agree, I just like to be polite and not hurt feelings.
Super Dooper Funny Hunny! I needed a laugh.