I Need Your Opinion

So, after one has a baby and is starting to heal one needs to think again about contraceptive methods. Birth control pills suck. My adversion to them has gotten me pregnant twice already. They make me fat and cranky but I’ve come to realize that being pregnant makes me fat and cranky also. I got a birth control prescription. I’d like to have Brent fixed but my doctor wants him to be totally sure that if the kids and I die then he wouldn’t want to have more. That’s a big question to have to answer. I really don’t want to take the pill, I hate it with all of my being but I’d lose my mind if I got pregnant again. Then comes the other choice, the IUD. SO many people have had it and it seems like SUCH a good idea when it comes to practicality. My problem with it is that I’m not sure about the ethics of it. The IUD allows for the eggs to be fertilized but then disallows them to attach. My doctor is a Christian like me and is also adversed to abortion as I am and he thinks that morally and ethically, IUD’s are perfectly fine. He goes on to say that it’s not a life until the egg has attached and that fertilized eggs get passed all the time. I do realize that they get passed all of the time, I’m just not sure if I’d feel ok allowing that to happen by my own hand. Perhaps that’s playing God too much? Or is it ok? Will I feel ok knowing what’s going on inside of me? I’m just not sure, I’m not sure at all. But then where is the line drawn? You can go as far as to say that the sperm and the eggs are also potential life that you can’t get in the way of so you shouldn’t use contraceptive at all. I really don’t go that far but I’m not sure where the line should be drawn. Officially a pregnancy has not begun until the egg has attached. So then the IUD is not aborting the baby. It’s not terminating a pregnancy. Is it ok then?

I’d really like to know everyone’s opinion so please please leave a comment below.

Onto other things! Ike had his 2 week check up today and he’s already gained over a pound. Fatty cakes. He’s 29 inches but I have no idea how long he was in inches when he was born. All I know is that his newborn clothes are getting too short and he’s onto three month clothes already. Man that happens fast. I think he’s longer than Silas was. Ike is doing such a good job at being a good baby. He’s really quite easy to deal with. No long crying fits or anything, he’s just happy happy happy. He does cry but not that like constant crying that some do. Silas used to do it a little. His first bum rash is almost cleared only to make way for a new one. Doc looked at it and said it’s just a normal diaper rash and not an allergy to his diaper (phew) so I think it’s from the scent in the Pseudocrem that I’ve been using. Onto Pentaten. I’ll go get some today. Silas just woke up an hour early from his nap. He was also up at 6 this morning. Great. Cranky baby boy time for sure.

Anyway, I’m feeling better every single day. My war on depression is working and I’m winning. Woot. Although the anxiety sucks, it makes me get up and go instead of sitting around so that’s a good thing. I just noticed that one of my superfluous nipples is SUPER tender and sore, I hope that’s not a bad thing!! Anyway, please comment about the IUD issue, I’m really interested to know what people think.

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18 comments

  1. Personally? I don’t think life begins until blood enters the cell group – after implantation. So, I have no problems with an IUD.
    I will say this – if God wants you to have another baby, you will. There’s no way you can “play God” when it comes to creating a human life. Take me for example… I’m an IUD baby! 🙂 Granted, that was 26 years ago, and the technology is changed… but I don’t think that it’s something that you need to worry about.
    If you’re not completely happy with the IUD option, and don’t want to take the pill, ask your Dr. about the Nuvaring. It’s a 2″ silicone ring that you wear inside your va-jay-jay. You put it in right after your period, leave it in for three weeks, then you take it out for your period, and put the new one in one week later (to keep a 28 day cycle). I found that I could hardly feel mine, once I got used to it, but we had to take it out for sex (I could feel it then, and it was uncomfortable. To be completely blunt and gross, I needed to wash it off occasionally, anyway, because there would sometime be a little bit of the normal white discharge that us girls get on it – not a gross amount, but just a little. I’m a bit of a clean freak, so it bothered me at first, but I got over it). One of my friends used it, and she didn’t take it out for sex (it prevented babies for me for almost a year, so I know that it works, even to take it out for sex). Otherwise, you just have to remind yourself on what days to take it out.
    The best part? I didn’t get any birth control related symptoms from it – Seriously. I got the light periods, and very mild mood swings close to the removal date (PMS, basically), but nothing else that was really horrible (ie. weight gain, headaches, etc.).
    So, ask your doctor about it, if you’re not sure that you’re “ready” for an IUD, but don’t want to go back on the pill (heaven knows I will NEVER EVER go back on the pill!!!)

  2. Crap – my code was wrong. If you google the Nuvaring, you’ll find what I was talking about.

    Sorry about my poor html skills! 🙁

  3. Definitely something to think about hey? All I know is that I hate the pill. I won’t ever go on it again. I’m going to have to think about it more seriously after we have number 2(who doesn’t exist yet just for the record). What a hard question for the Dr. to ask, but totally legit I guess. Never thought of it that way.

  4. I used the diaphragm for a couple years. I liked it because it goes in and out, nothing stayed in my body for an extended period of time: it does not look like a torture device, it didn’t #$@ with my hormones, there were no ethical issues, in my mind, it didn’t negatively affect the sexual experience, it can improve your self esteem…if the dr. fits you with the smallest one 🙂 I was in complete control! The spermacidal foam was kinda gross, but it got those little suckers; perhaps it has improved in the last ten years. You know my personal views about the vasectomy…get a different doctor, but, if you were both comfortable with that you would do it. BIRTH CONTROL PILLS ARE EVIL! They should be called woman control pills!

  5. I went on progesterone only birth control and even though it didn’t have any side affects, I still hated it and quit after 2 months. It basically made Sophie not want to nurse anymore. The LC told me that some babies are sensitive and that she noticed the slightest hormone change in my body and wanted nothing to do with nursing.

    As for the IUD, I didn’t get one because I know 3 people’s whose IUD’s disattached and they got pregnant. And I have heard that you can have complications with it. Honestly, for now use a condom. I know you hate them (i hate them with a passion) but until you’re SURE you’re done with kids I think that is your best bet. I just don’t think that the other stuff is worth it, but that’s just me.

  6. From what I understand about spermicide, it kind of takes the spontaneity out of – doesn’t it have to be inserted for up to a half hour before (or maybe that was just one kind)?

    Oh. I forgot that you have to take progesterone only while breastfeeding (I think). Too bad – if you’re looking for birth control after feeding, though… definitely look into the nuvaring.

  7. I’m a friend of Leanne’s, and I have LOVED reading your blog and relating to much of what you write about. I have a 5 month old son, so my husband and I recently had to make a decision regarding contraceptives.

    I don’t have any personal experience with IUD’s or know of any friends who’ve used them. But when I did my research i came across some info that turned me off to the idea. The IUD causes your body to produce leukocytes which cause defects in the sperm and egg. It also causes your body to produce prostaglandin, the synthetic form of which is used to complete miscarriages and induce abortions.

    I don’t have a solid answer on “when life begins” because no one can agree on that, even in Christian circles. Everyone hates the pill (myself included) because that combo of synthetic hormones wasn’t meant to exist in our bodies. The reason the IUD works is because the body fights like mad to remove the foreign device from itself, and embryos get caught in the flush.

    After I had a miscarriage, I started reading about conception, and was actually feeling discouraged. If you really look at everything that needs to be exactly right for a baby to be conceived, its a miracle that any are at all (though I’m sure its hard to feel that way when you’re feeling super fertile)! I just couldn’t reconcile that in my heart.

    All the best in making this decision….its a tough one!

  8. It’s not up for debate for me. I do think that IUD is playing God. In lots of parts of the Bible you can read about God “opening and closing the womb” there’s no chance or accident in any conception, it all has purpose and reason (which you must believe since you think abortion is wrong)
    My midwife sure was upset about this, “naive and irresponsible” were her words when I turned down the idea of using any form of birth control. I’d love for Deeder to have siblings close in age to him!
    A really cool blog to check out is bakersdozen.typepad.com, especially if you and Brent would consider having more kids. She has ten between the ages of 10 and 19 months, they couldn’t be happier! They’re the most amazing parents I know, by far.

    Judging from the people who I’ve talked to who have more than two or three kids I think that it doesn’t sound bad at all. I often see moms with only one or two who are absolutely miserable!

    Good luck with everything!
    Laura

  9. That is the cutest picture ever. So sweet.

    I’m so glad you’re winning. That’s awesome.

    I assume that you don’t want to “unplug” the oven? I needed to since I knew that another baby would kill me, so I had myself tied. I hate BCP, and don’t trust the other methods since I can screw anything up. I have a friend who uses the IUD and she loves it.

    Since the IUD prevents the uterine lining from becoming an attractive place for the egg to attach, I don’t think you need to worry about “meddling” where you don’t want to meddle. If you’re not ready to have another child, I would think the IUD would be your best bet, physically or ethically. But I really don’t know.

    I just can’t get that sweet little face out of my mind….sigh….

  10. Thordora-I’m scared to get myself tied. I just don’t know if I want to deal with the pain of it all. I think I’m still too traumatized by the delivery. I’m thinking about all options right now. I’d really rather Brent get fixed because there’s a chance it can be reversed for him.

    Laura – interesting look on things. I don’t think I can go as far as to just let things happen as they happen, I’d have 500 babies.

    Jenevere – thanks!

    I really don’t think I can deal with spermicide. My doc said it a really harsh chemical and it can cause sensitivity as well.

  11. I don’t think it hurts as much as you might think, but I don’t really know-I also had an endometrial ablation at the same time, and THAT HURT. The day surgery thing did suck though.

    I understand the inclination to getting him snipped. I was just so terrified of the thought of ever getting pregnant again, that I wanted to be sure. I wouldn’t have wanted to do it if I was at all unsure about more little balls of cuteness!

  12. Hey Leah! Well, I too will have to think all this trough, after baby #2:)! As you know I dont have the option of taking the pill. We have talked about IUD’s and I agree with you totally on the issues your having with it, I feel the same. Also I have known people who have had the fertalized egg attach regardless of their IUD and scary things have happened! So there is that aswell as the “moral” issues.
    I totally think Jill had a good comment with the diaphragm, we were gonna start using that before I got preggers this time, then decided to try again, but that is something that might be good until you decide for sure what to do. (To snip or not to snip?) haha!
    I know you will do whats right for you,after all, YOU have to live with whatever is going on in your body, no one else! And personally, a bakers dozen of children scares the jeeze out of me!! HAHA!! Love ya, good luck!!

  13. I think that the IUD would be a mistake. Think of that contraption inside of you, I think someone called it a foreign object. Doesn’t it cause infections? I have used the Nuvaring and I thought that was the best thing for me. I didn’t take it out for sex and it worked for all the while I used it… and we were newlyweds!

    I think that even if you think that the sperm and egg are not alive, I would venture to tell you that they are blessed by God and exposing them to the IUD would cause defects, as I read from another commenter. I would not be comfortable with that idea. I would feel better with a method that prevented the egg and sperm from getting together in the first place, as opposed to destroying the fertilized baby… but that is the way I feel. I agree with a previous person who said that if God wants you to have another one, you will and there is nothing you can do to prevent it.

  14. Well, I just have to leave my two cents worth, because the pill is getting such negative feedback. I LOVE the pill. There. I said it. Normally my body detests anything synthetic, but not the pill…it did only good things for me.

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