Ikey, We Need to Talk.

My Darling Isaac,

You and I have been through a lot together these past 8 months.  We’ve had a successful 8 months of nursing but it hasn’t come without consequence.  At first you’d just want to nurse for hours on end.  I didn’t know when to stop it, you just kept sucking and sucking.  Then came the months upon months of you being offended by the very sight of my breasts.  It was a hard time but finally we’ve gotten through it and we’ve been nursing rather peacefully now haven’t we?  Until last night of course.

Now Isaac I know you’re very very proud of your new teeth.  You’re very good at using them to chew up rice puffs and bits of pear.  They adorn your already adorable smile very nicely.  You went through a lot to get those precious teeth and now you want to try them out.  But my darling, there’s appropriate and inappropriate chewing.

Now, there’s many things we’ve given you to aid you in your chewing needs.  You have multiple toys that you can gnaw on to your hearts delight!  You can also chew on the delicious food I give you and you’re very welcome to chew on that darling little fist of yours.  You’ve been very good thus far at not chewing on inappropriate things such as your brother or sharp knives.  There’s one thing you’re missing here though.  You must not, under any circumstances, chew on my nipples.

I know great things come from my nipples.  Your favorite thing to do is to have your mouth on them.  They’re warm, soft, delightful and full of delicious milk.  In case you didn’t notice, you don’t need to chew the milk.  It goes down rather easy doesn’t it?  So please, resist the temptation and don’t chew.

Last night may have been deserved.  I was kind of picking a bit of crust off your face and you may have not liked that very much.  When you chomped down I was surprise to see that my poor nipple was still in tact.  Then the blood came.  You were pretty delighted to see that I was making such excited noises.  I saw that smirk on your face darling.  But oh how sad you looked when I calmly but sternly told you to not bite me.  Your big lip came out and you knew I meant business.  I’ve never seen such a cute face in my life, stop it!

The problem goes on though darling.  Even though it upset you so much when I told you “no”, you’re still testing the waters.  I can feel your little teeth starting to press into me and I’m quick to stop you.  This had made me really sad darling, I  really thought the sore nipple stage is over.

You have me on edge now.  My finger is close to your mouth at all times, ready to stop you from biting off my precious bits.  I’m clenching my teeth in agony while you serenely gulp milk down from my scabby, bruised nipple.  Do you really want to do this to your mother?  After all I’ve done for you?  You’re lucky you’re so gosh darn cute mister.

Please have mercy on me.

Love, Mommy.


  1. My tip for biting babies: Press them into your breast, rather than pull them away. Though it may sound horrible, they will for a brief moment be unable to breathe and they do not like this. At this point you may say “No” to them, but not as vehemently as I did to poor little Isabelle who immediately broke into tears and became a little afraid to nurse. In my experience, they soon get the picture: No biting.

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