Meat Fingers

One thing I’m finding as I observe Silas is that he has these moments of total clarity.  Yesterday he had almost an entire DAY of clarity.  I couldn’t believe all the words coming from his mouth.  A lot of it was still echoing but he was making up a lot of his own stuff too.  He was happy, he was present, he hardly was stimming.  He was Silas!!

Once in a blue moon I let up, swallow all the bad feelings toward pre-packed food and we get hot dogs and chili for chili dogs.  Whole Wheat buns still though lol.  So yesterday was a chili dog day, Brent’s favorite day in the world.

Silas was munching on his food when he looked at his hot dog and said “it’s a meat finger”.  We just about died.  I feel kind of sad that Silas can’t talk much in this point of life, I can’t hear him say the silly things that a 3 year old would say.  Oh my, that’s getting me teary now.  Bah, anyway, it makes me sad so when I hear him say silly things I just am blown away.  And he was saying stuff all day.

Where is Silas today?  He’s whining a lot but can only say “I help you?”.  He just can’t get past saying that and onto telling me what he needs from me.  He’s bringing his 4 square duplo blocks around with him.  Red, blue, yellow and purple…not the green one.  And lining them up…right now as we speak.  Where did Silas go??  Back into the land of fog?  I know this is Silas but when the brain connections aren’t happening then he’s not truly Silas.

Silas is really interested in learning his ABC’s right now, he’s known the song forever but is now wanting to recognize the letters.  He’s actually semi obsessed about it.  Silly boy.  He’s learning so much still.

I was sad at church yesterday.  I finally let myself look at all the other boys his age.  I noticed that they were doing, how they were talking.  One boy is a few months older than Silas, I remember him because he never crawled, just sat in the middle of the nursery and watched everyone then just stood up and walked one day.  Now he’s so grown up, I watched him talk to his mommy about the picture he was drawing, he was actually drawing a picture.  Ack…no I don’t want to be like that.  I’m usually not like that.

My brain is everywhere.

This is what happens when a kid with autism is served vegetables, they're not for eating, just color catagorization and lining up!
This is what happens when a kid with autism is served vegetables. Gotta line them up by color!
happy snuggles yesterday
happy snuggles yesterday


  1. “Meat fingers” is so cute. Why are lined-up, colour sorted veggies making me teary?

    I sort Skittles before I eat them. But that’s because I like a whole mouthful of the same flavour. I don’t sort M&Ms ’cause they’re all the same flavour.

  2. Haha meat finger! I like to seperate Smarties by colour sometimes. I also count stairs and sometimes I avoid stepping on cracks. I’m also slightly obsessed with the position and angle of furniture and stuff in my home.

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