When I got pregnant with Silas, it was a total surprise. We were attempting to NOT get pregnant using natural family planning, apparently you can get pregnant if you ovulate 6 days after intercourse…who knew? The first 7 months was barfing Hell. I took Diclectin which is a wonder pill but I couldn’t afford to take more than two a day (1.50 a pill!) so I was still puking but at least I could hold some things down. I think if it weren’t for that pill, I’d have to be in the hospital, it was really that bad. Finally I was able to wean myself off the stuff near the end of my pregnancy and I finally felt OK. I went through a bout of kidney stones as well which was only a night of hell, not so bad. By the end of my pregnancy I was super puffy and full of water, very much ready to get the baby out. I went into a rather light but consistent labor one morning and luckily on that morning, my mom and sister Jill were already on their way out. I walked all day that day, trying to get the labor going. I went in to get checked out and I hadn’t dilated much so they sent me home but told me he was posterior (facing the wrong way) so I needed to get on my hands and knees. That night everyone slept at my house and I spent the night on a pile of pillows on my hands and knees. The next morning the doctor said that wasn’t at all necessary. THANKS!
The next day I was still getting contractions but no pain. I spent that entire day walking as well. At least I got to sleep a bit that night because at 4am the contractions hit hard. They never got regular though, they were 5 mins, then 1 min, then 3 mins apart, it was like that the entire way through. I spent the rest of the night in the shower until they just got to be too much to jut sit in there. I have no idea how long I labored at home but once I started losing it, we decided to go into the hospital. I was laying on my bed, rolling in agony, bawling my eyes out while my husband cried with me. Time to go. On the way to the car, I told my family to not let me get like that again, I needed to keep control.
At the hospital I was 5cms dilated so I was checked in. Silas was still posterior. In the room with me I had my mom, my three sisters and my husband. Most people think I’m nuts but I needed everyone there. My mom would tickle my face and head, Brent would coach me and the sisters would relieve Brent and get him food or hold my legs so they’d stop shaking. They also did a lot of filming.
The Doc. eventually broke my water (which had meconium in it) and we waited to get to 10 cms. I quickly rose to 9 cms where I stayed for the next 10 hours. Now, not many people know what it feels like to be between 9 and 10 cms because it either doesn’t last longer than an hour, or they’re already frozen. That phase is SO hard because your body wants to push but I wasn’t allowed. So I labored and tried not to push for 10 hours, 10 whole hours. I was so focused though that it went by really fast. I would focus on one spot and not move my eyes from it whatsoever. At one point I was looking at one letter on this hand sanitizer bottle and my sister Jennie kept walking in front of it. I couldn’t say anything because I’d fully lose my concentration but I almost lost it every time I couldn’t see my spot. Apparently that’s something they teach you to do but I never took any of those classes, my body just did it naturally. I soon found a new spot. I also emptied 3 tanks of gas which really did nothing to help. At times I’d have the Dr’s arm up me trying to push my cervix into a 10 cm position which felt like one long contraction (horrible). No luck. Silas wasn’t turning and he was doing something to my cervix so that it wouldn’t dilate. They tried to get me to push for a few hours which felt amazing, there’s nothing like pushing when you’ve been fighting it for so long. It didn’t help at all, Silas’ head was not going to turn.
Eventually Silas’ heart rate started to go down a bit so we stopped and they gave me two choices. I HAD to get an epidural and I could either get it and wait to dilate or go in right away for a c-section. I chose to wait. I was losing control and pushing too much which was making the cervix swell so I needed to relax. By that point, I welcomed the epidural with open arms. The 30 mins I had to wait for it was horrible because I lost all control and just wept. I didn’t even feel the thing go into my back, he put it in during a contraction and within seconds my whole body relaxed. My family was excited for me because they thought I could catch some sleep. They were all so worn out. They watched in horror as I became completely hyper and was calling people from my bed. I was telling the epidural man how much I loved him. I was just psycho happy to be out of pain. It was lovely. I was dreadfully thirsty though but I couldn’t eat or drink because there was still a big chance of having to cut me open. So I sucked on ice chips and called my Brent’s brother and Sister in law to come hang out with us.
By that time I was hooked up to everything imaginable. I had an IV with fluids and an IV with oxytocin (I think). I had the epidural and also that thingy on my finger, then we had the strap on my tummy and a clip on Silas’ head, I also had a catheter. I was hooked up! So
we I partied and waited for two hours. Finally I had dilated and it was time to push, Silas was still in the wrong position. So I pushed and pushed and Silas got more and more distressed. There were times where his heart rate was so slow, everything was tense. They gave me antibiotic swhich really helped his heart rate go up. In-between pushes I’d go into a position that would help his heart rate and I would suck back the oxygen. I pushed for quite a long time until they realized that he needed to get out, quick. Another decision: c-section or forceps. I opted for forceps. The OB had been there for a long time along with my Dr. They struggled for a good 10 mins trying to un-clip Silas’ head. We had a team waiting downstairs to cut me open at any given time because Silas was so distressed. They had to send everyone out of the room except my husband (my family peeked through the curtains). They sniped me open a little, and it took and while to get a hold of Silas’ head. I could feel him clunking around in there and I was just thinking about how much this is going to hurt the next day. Finally get got a hold of his head and I pushed, he pulled, and a nurse pushed on my tummy. Once the head was out my dr. took over and got him out the rest of the way. Silas didn’t cry or move. The whole room became flooded with people who were working on Silas. They lifted his arms and they would just drop to the table. It was a very tense minute but Silas let out a cry and then I knew everything was OK. The whirlwind was soon over and I was holding my new son saying “are you really mine?”. It took the OB a good hour or so to stitch me up. He never told me how many stitches but lets just say I ripped a little past my #2 hole, ouch. That night and the night after Silas screamed his brains out. I had to stay in the hospital for two nights just because the delivery was so traumatic. I remember when I first got up to go pee and I realized I was already peeing, I had no control whatsoever. Brent took me to take a shower and I was just like “I’m peeing, I can’t help it, I’m just peeing”. The control came back quickly though. I was super swollen too, it looked like I had testicles, gross. My husband was amazing at not getting too weird about any of that. He can’t stand watching surgeries on TV (doesn’t bother me one bit) or anything but we saw me ripped wide open and he was OK. Survival mode I tell ya!
It took me about 8 weeks to stop bleeding and probably about 10 or 11 until I really felt healed. A few weeks after giving birth I got this ugly rash on my body. I’d just sit there and cry all day long, it was horrible. That finally went away though. I can’t believe how traumatic that all was and how well I pulled through it all. I was so happy that they never pushed a c-section on me and we got him out in the most natural way possible. I went into that situation thinking I’d say no to any drug they’d offer but when your child is in such distress you just say yes to everything. I always wonder how close they were to cutting me open, they were watching his monitor SO carefully, I think it was a matter of perhaps a minute or two. This time I really hope I can push him out myself without drugs. I’m weird and I want to know what it feels like. Anyway, I’ve been meaning to write this down for a long time so there it’s done!
I should be napping but we’re looking at more houses today and I’m ready to sign my name on an offer ASAP. I’m stressed.