Aside from the nauseating Jack Johnson music, that totally made me want a baby hummingbird. It almost made me LIKE the Jack Johnson hit, almost. Usually his music more just makes me wanna cut myself. Maybe it’s because I listened to the album on loop for hours at a time playing Puzzle Pirates whilst pregnant with Silas. I was addicted to that game…DONT HIT “PLAY NOW” if you go to the link. My mouth is absolutely watering just seeing the main page. I’m like 6.5 years clean from that game…I can be strong.
Anyway, that obviously was a dark time for me.
I did Zumba last night. Sometimes I feel like swearing at my teacher, but she’s so damn cute and she belts the songs out at the top of her lungs WHILE doing Zumba and she still sounds good. I realize that’s the only way to get my thighs to look like hers and for my ass to look that good in tiny velour short shorts…so I just do what she says.
I’m finally getting to know the moves to some songs more so I’m more able to kind of look around at everyone else in the gym as I’m gyrating my hips and moving around in a circle. Last night I noticed someone new. This little pregnant woman who’s gyrating also….better than I am actually, less sweaty and everything. I pretended she was faking it. She was probably some crazy person who wore a pregnant suit to make everyone feel bad about themselves because it makes her feel better inside….or something….
That’s what made me feel better at least.
Because seriously, if I was six months pregnant I would have to wear a diaper and have two strong men on either side of me, helping me put my whale-like body into motion. And then I would go home and cry into a big bowl of ice cream. Reason #2834576457845 to never get pregnant again. Anyway, I digress.
A few weeks back, we went in a different room, one with mirrors. That shouldn’t be allowed. Ever. As I’m dancing around feeling like one sexy beeyatch, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
OK fine…time to fold the frickin laundry. Although the pile is such that the clean stuff has kind of mingled with the dirty stuff and, it probably all needs washed again #worldsworsthousewife.