Transformation

Firstly, you need to check out my do.  I put pink in it and it makes me really giddy.

profileprofile-3profile2profile1 Yes, I know…you love it too…How couldn’t you?  You want to come to my house and have pink put in your hair too don’t you??  Thought so.

Anyway, narcissism aside, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fact that my 26th birthday is coming up next month.  The thing about it that depresses me the most is that it means I’ve also been struggling with depression for 19 years.  That means soon I’ll hit TWENTY years.  I don’t want to hit twenty.

Yes yes, not many 26 year olds can say that they’re close to hitting the 20 year mark on the depression train.  But ya, age 7 is when I have my first memories of depression, who knows if it went back further.

At any rate, I’ve been wondering how I could possibly begin to try to kick off my 26th year feeling great about myself, with a positive outlook on life and hopefully try and break this damn cycle of depression.  Odds are that I’ll have it forever.  But hey, why not take a crack at it?  No?

So, if I had all the money in the world I’d go to yoga daily, find a life coach, get a personal chef to cook me up healthy and delicious food, get a personal trainer, get a freaking shrink and take a bloody vacation.  Seeing as those I can hardly afford to feed my family meat on a nightly basis, I’m going to have to do this the old fashioned way.  Drugs.

No, that’s not all.  But I’m feeling more open to the possibility of drugs than I have ever before.  Perhaps I am imbalanced, perhaps I could use a little serotonin uptake action.  Perhaps it might put a little pep in my step.  Hmmmmmmmmmmm indeed.

But, so, here’s the ACTUAL plan of action:  Six weeks from Monday (less a day) I am going to turn 26.  I feel like I need to start off the year healthy and with a bang.  So, in the usual Leah fashion.  I’m gunna CLEANSE!  ooohhhyeaaah.  6 weeks of living off mostly raw foods, small amounts of meats, no dairy other than plain yogurt in the morning and LOTS of tea…no refined sugars either…no baking…etc.  The purpose is to get myself loaded full of lots of good things, get rid of any excess yeast, load up on energy and get rid of some excess pounds so I can feel good on my bday.  I do realize some of that weight will most likely return when the diet goes back to normal but that’s just part of cleansing.  Perhaps the diet wont go back to normal…who knows.

I also want to take time to meditate and do yoga each day and also get exercise on a regular basis as well.  I also want to force myself to do things that make me happy.  Ya…that’s right…I have to force myself.  I’m a weirdo.  It’s ok though…embrace the weirdness.

So that’s all the details I have worked out.  I’m kinda seeing it as a spiritual journey of sorts, trying to prepare myself to have a kick-ass year and perhaps be a happier person before that dreaded 20 year mark.

8 comments

  1. Pretty with pink I say…actually I observed also what a pretty woman(is that old fashioned) you are…Brent has good taste . As for your depression Have you tried St. John’s wort…personally I don’t live without it.

  2. Sounds like an ambitious and fabulous plan of action! You go, girl!

    I am so impressed with all you’re doing and how well you’re handling it, and I sometimes forget how young you are. You are an amazingly aware and conscious woman for your (almost) 26 years. Keep on this track, and you’ll be a powerful force to be reckoned with by your 30s! I see book deals and inspirational speaking in your future. You’re going to help so many people. I just feel it!

    Big hugs!

  3. Leah R****R!

    ..like who are you?!?!?! You are seriously pretty hey?? you totally are. In case you didn’t know. and…just to prove to you how much, I was gonna leave this comment, on the baking muffins post, cause I actually saw that pic first, before these!!! You look just as gorgeous in that pic with your boys.

    You’re one of ‘those’ moms. one of the hot ones!

  4. so – where can I get some pink hair color? seriously – i love it!

    Also, beware of SSRI’s making you more tired and unmotivated. I know they have a different effect on everyone – but that’s what they do to me.

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