Watch this video before reading on
(k I had no idea why everything below is so spaced out, I DIDN’T DO IT!!)
I wish someone had gotten to me before the media did. How many of us, knowing that magazine girls are airbrushed, look at them and think that we need to look at that? I sure do. I stare at my wobbly bits in the mirror and think how bad they look. People get real close to the mirror and analyze their wrinkles and scars. I find myself poking at my stretch marks and lifting my breasts up as I watch in the mirror, imagining them to be back to their original state.
Who said this is beauty? Who started saying that stretch marks and breasts that aren’t large or perky are ugly? Who had the nerve to say my body isn’t sexy?
Most of us go on blaming the media, they’re the ones showing us all these fake bodies, glamourizing sex and objectifying women. The problem, though, lies in us. The media would not continue to put such “perfection” on a pedestal if we did not buy into it. I fully and completely buy into it and I can’t get it out of my head. I do want to be skinny for the health reasons but I also want to be skinny so that I fit into the North American standard of beauty. I want my eye brows to be a little higher, my butt to have those lovely creases below it, my collar bone to stick out elegantly. I want that.
As I was growing my second baby bump I watched as the last of my “sexy” places was stolen from me. Red stretch marks plowed their way across my tummy and that was it, every spot of my body that’s “supposed” to look perfect is now laden with unsightly markings. They first took my breasts, then my inner and outer thighs. They took my sides and my bottom, then they even took my calves. The last thing they took was my tummy. I was devestaded to say the least.
Now I’ve been thinking, why are these markings even seen as ugly? I had the amazing privilage to bring life into this world. My body has stretched and buldged and has brought forth beautiful life. These marks are memories of what miracles this body has performed and now there’s people telling me it’s ugly. My swollen breasts have been tugged and pulled and bitten and they’ve made two beautiful children VERY plump and now, because they’re facing a different way, they’re ugly.
I’ve decided to not see it this way anymore. The shape my skin is in right now is nothing short of a miracle. The way it moved and stretched to make room for my beautiful boys, that’s a miracle and screw you if you’re going to hold it in contempt because it’s not perfect anymore. Why can’t stretch marks be perfect? Why can’t my tired breasts be perfect? They are perfect! They’re exactly the way they are supposed to be.
I’ve slowly come to this point where I’ve chosen to look at my body in a new way. The fat is not ugly, it’s just unhealthy. The stretch marks aren’t ugly, they’re just markings from a miracle. My breasts aren’t ugly, they’re exactly where they’re supposed to be.
Yes, at times I will buy into it again, I’ll probably buy into the North American standard of beauty another million times in my life but I will continue to fight it and I will continue to try to not buy into it.
No one can decide for us what we think is beautiful, we can decide for ourselves. We can decide to change our minds.
Thanks Blue Milk for putting a bug in my ear 🙂