I have this motto, as a mother I feel like I need a motto, something to focus on as my main purpose for parenting the way I do.
My child is not my own.
Now that kind of seems like a contradiction in itself but it’s not. They belong to themselves. I think a lot of parents feel some sort of ownership over their children and once something becomes “yours” you feel like you can treat it any way you damn well please.
I’m getting so tired of hearing about people growing up in crappy situations. I wish parents would just stop and look of the importance of the life before them. This person is going to be an adult one day and it’s not funny to say that you’ll pay for their shrink. It’s easy to shell out the dough, it’s not easy to deal with the issues that come along from a not so pleasant childhood. In fact, it can’t always be healed.
I don’t get why the majority of people I know have been abused in some way. I think all of us as parents have wanted to hit our kids out of anger. I knew if I spanked my kids it would be out of anger, so I just don’t do it at all and that works for us.
I don’t want to make this a spanking issue but more of a WAKE UP PEOPLE!! Lets start trying to raise our kids without big expectations on them that we’ve come up on our own, without our own baggage getting in the way, without screaming, without abuse, without constant pressure to be perfect!
Your child will not forget about it. You know even having screaming matches with your spouse around your child before they are 5 actually stops them from building the proper brain connections that they need? Yes, your anger can change their brains forever. Actual brain tissue isn’t growing because you’re yelling! Now add abuse into that and you’ve made it even worse. It’s not something a trip to the shrink is going to help, you’re actually ruining their brains! Stop it already!
K I’m SO not a perfect parent, I lose my temper on my kids sometimes. But I keep going back to that idea, this person isn’t mine. It’s my responsibility to cherish this little life enough to help it grow to it’s best potential. That doesn’t mean forcing my own ideals upon them but to teach them how to find their unique selves so they can fully own who they are. We don’t treat other peoples things like crap so why are we treating other humans like crap?
Lets get a grip stop the cycle already…I know I sure am.