Pregnancy Worries Answered

Illustration by Mark Alan Stamaty.
Illustration by Mark Alan Stamaty.
Illustration by Mark Alan Stamaty.

So I may be an overly relaxed person with less tendencies to worry than some.  I did go through some worries at the beginning of this pregnancy because I had two miscarriages and I lost a bit of faith in my body.  Those with high risk pregnancies tend to worry a lot but who could blame them?  But I find there’s a lot of women out there who are FREAKING OUT!!  Most of these people I come across on message boards.  Those places are useful AND maddening (because of the crazy questions).  Anyway, end your pregnancy worries with my answers to the top 10 pregnancy freakouts I’ve witnessed.

*these apply to normal pregnancies and not high risk ones.  I’d be nervous then too!  Also I get that I’m very laid back…please take this knowing that I’m also entertaining at least myself with some humour.  I know people have anxiety problems and are just worriers….I’m done disclaiming now*

  1. I understand you’re having trouble finding the babies heart beat on your at-home doppler.  I see that you’re having a massive freak out session.  Stop crying and realize that you are NOT a doctor.  It’s probably too early to find it or perhaps you’re looking in the wrong place, perhaps the baby is in a bad position, heck…perhaps the pregnancy didn’t work out.  Chances are your baby is fine and you’ve simply done it wrong.  If you’re going to freak out about stuff like this the get rid of your doppler already.  It’s doing you more harm than good.  Google has a lot of tutorials on how to find your baby’s heartbeat…use it.
  2. No, your baby will not come out as you strain to poop.  Please read a book or two.  Perhaps educate yourself on female anatomy.  Google what a cervix is for.
  3. It is completely normal to not feel your baby move until about 20 weeks.  It is completely normal for us who have been through this already to feel it really early.  We are all stretched out in there and we know what to feel for.  Again…read a book.  A pregnancy book.  One with pictures.
  4. Cramps are normal during pregnancy.  Unfortunately even though we were built for this, it still hurts.  It must be how the hulk feels every time he changes.  It doesn’t look comfortable and neither is pregnancy.  So for the 100th time, you should probably stop freaking out unless they are regular like a contraction and are accompanied by leaking fluid or bleeding.  Also, drink some water to help with cramping.
  5. I’m sorry you’re upset that you don’t “feel” pregnant.  By that you mean you aren’t experiencing all the horrible side effects the rest of us are suffering from.  While the rest of us send daggers at you with our eyes, please rest easy.  There is no literature that says a pregnancy must be accompanied by side effects.  People even go full term without realizing they’re pregnant…there’s even a reality show about it.  Count your blessings (like you were smart enough to realize you were pregnant AND you’re not worshiping the porcelain queen) and take a chill pill – but only if it’s safe for pregnancy.
  6. Yes you are in your second trimester and no you’re not showing.  Many factors go into when a woman shows and how big she gets.  It has to do with her own height, weight, anatomy, the position of the uterus, the size of the baby, the amount of fluid, the width of your hips…etc etc etc.  Go get a massage and chill out.
  7. Your dentist is actually a doctor.  Your hygienist knows more about anatomy and health that you would EVER give them credit for ( I know…my mommy is one).  Stop asking strangers if it’s safe to go to the dentist.  Again – they’re DOCTORS who deal with a MASSIVE variety of health issues and know exactly how to deal with a pregnant woman.
  8. Yes, even though you’re pregnant, your body will experience all the aches and pains and weird cramps and twinges it did before you got pregnant.  Please stop freaking out because your toe aches and just use common sense.
  9. You’ve lost 14 pounds.  Unless you’re not keeping anything down, including water (go to ER right away if you’re not getting your fluids!) then you’re probably fine.  Diets tend to change during pregnancy.  You’re not going to happy hour anymore and drinking calorie laden cocktails, you may be like me and are on a meat strike.  Maybe all you can keep down is fruits and vegetables.  The baby will take what it needs and you WILL gain weight eventually.  Trust me.  You might gain a lot more weight than you ever wished to.  I puked for 30 weeks with one pregnancy and I still ended up gaining 60 pounds.
  10. So your boobies are leaking.  I’m not really sure why that would ever be an issue during pregnancy as you should know that your body is getting ready to make delicious life juice for your offspring.  I’m pretty sure that it can start at any time.  My first pregnancy, it started at like 12-13 weeks, I was a faucet.  It never occurred to me to actually worry.  I was shocked (like “hey my boobs work!”) but I’m pretty sure that if you use common sense – like they’re not hot and hard and in massive amounts of pain and spewing green pus or maggots or something…you are fine and you can RELAX!!

I think the problem with all this freaking out is that people just aren’t educating themselves on their pregnancy.  If I had diabetes, I would become an expert in diabetes.  My son has autism – I am an expert in autism.  I am pregnant – I will become an expert in pregnancy.  The more you know the less you’re going to freak out about stuff that doesn’t need freaking out about.  This saves you and your fetus from a lot of stress.

Have a nice day folks and HAPPY PREGNANCY!

**if you are really having a hard time coping with anxiety during your pregnancy please see your doctor.  There might be something else going on…I mean chemically in your brain…not with your pregnancy…your baby is fine.**

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