One thing about this autism thing that truly breaks my heart is Ikey. I can’t help but wonder if he’ll live his life thinking he’s getting the short end of the stick. I mean, Silas gets to hang out with all these cool people 4 days a week. He’ll soon also be hanging out with a speech therapist and an OT. Silas will, for a long time, be getting extra special treatment.
Ikey also gets the brunt of Silas’ blow ups. When we went through that really hard period recently I remember holding Ikey close, defending him from his angry brother, not knowing what to….all three of us in tears.
I don’t know how to combat this. I don’t know how to make Isaac feel like he’s getting all the attention that Silas gets. I don’t know how to make him feel just as special. I don’t know which things to do and which things not to do. I don’t know how to avoid future issues for him. This is such a tough one. This is SO part of the reason why I’m never having another kid. I hardly feel like there’s enough of me to go around already!!
I never had a sibling with any issues…okay well…lets just say we all have an equal amount of issues. I love you sisters and Andy!! But I did grow up with a father who’s physically handicapped and boy oh boy was that hard. Hard because I was so young and one day he was healthy and the next day he was paralyzed. That caused a lot of stress in my early years of life which lead to bigger issues like stress induced childhood OCD amongst other things. Not my dad’s fault at all. It didn’t help that he was recuperated and then was hit by a car and put right back to the beginning again. Was just the nature of what happened. I think it’s very different than having a sibling with something though. I did learn a lot of things, I learned a lot of patience and of course LOADS of acceptance for people with physical issues. I’m sure I learned some crazy coping mechanisms too. Who knows.
So what I think I’m going to do is start searching for people who are grown up siblings of someone with exceptionalities. Doesn’t have to be autism but of course I’d love it to be mostly autism or aspburgers. I think I’ll come up with a list of questions and compile notes and see exactly what their parents did right and what their parents did wrong. Then I’ll turn it into a wonderful blog so you all have the information too.
If you know someone or are someone who’s a sibling of someone who has developmental delays or even physical handicaps could you please comment on here that you’d like to participate or please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll get a list of questions for you to answer. I’ll keep everything completely confidential and will ask for permission before using a quote of yours and what not. If you know a sibling then please give them my email.
Thanks for the help!!
PS, silas is upstairs with Elisha right now. She walked in the door and he was so delighted, his WHOLE body went stiff (posturing) and he ran over to her. He then ran right up the stairs, ready to get to work!! I seriously think this kind of therapy (Able ABA) as opposed to the tradtional Lovaas ABA is so much better for our family. I think it would be better for a LOT of kids with autism.
OKAY comment…send me emails. Lets learn how to be the best we can be for the siblings of autism!!!
PS I also need your comments over at Discovering Happy. thnx