B.L.A.S.P. – ing

With every birth of a child comes a small yet significant perk for the mother.  Her body cycles slowwww down and take a little break from crazy fertility land into a nice, calm land where you don’t have to worry about cycles and late-night trips to the drug store.  It’s really the only good thing your body does for you after you have a baby.  It’s your secret little gift from your uterus saying “you deserve a break…after I’m done healing you’re going to get a little treat.”

Time goes by and you get used to this new way of life.  No hassles, no cramps, no 3 days of grumpy-chocolate-eating-psycho-cow woman.  You can blissfully enjoy all of the wonders of being a new mom and can ease your way through hard times without having to worry about your monthly womanly hell-time.

Then one day something changes.  Your body is DYING to be pregnant again.  It’s NEEDING another baby in it.  Crazy body, does it know not that 9 short months ago it was going through HELL???  Why on God’s green earth would it want to do THAT again?  WHY WHY WHY???

But alas nature calls and you get that feeling inside.  The feeling every woman gets at the exact right time when things start a-flowing.  Where Aunt Flow comes a-knockin.  Where you start BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG!!!  Because apparently your body thinks it would be FANTASTIC to get pregnant again!  Just dandy!!!!

And now, because this happened to me today, I will have to endure it every month again for the next 20 years. YAAAAAAY. 20 (some) more years of blasping*….bleeding like a stuck pig.

The good news is I get to use those fun-looking pads that come with little wipes, I bought them but then got pregnant.  So I guess there’s one perk.

*thanks Jennie for coming up with this phrase as a code word for us sisters to use.  Unfortunately…everyone knows now cuz I shared. oops.

8 comments

  1. You’re just getting it now? Lucky you! Kitten was born in July, and I got one in January. I haven’t had one since, but there you go. I was so grateful that I could use tampons again, though!

  2. Hi! First time commenting, but just wanted to share in your misery and say you’ve got it lucky. I believe that I starting B.L.A.S.P. ing 2 or 3 weeks after my daughter was born and I’ve been going strong ever since. Not too impressed about it all.

  3. I haven’t yet.. I did for one month.. and that was it…
    I’d rather get mine.. not having it.. is driving me more batty.

    Speaking of… I need to talk to you. I have a question that I know you can help me with. E-mail me! (mamabearjess@gmail.com)

  4. I got mine back when Deeder was 3 months old, but didn’t get pregnant until he was 11 months then miscarried.

    I hope my body gets that desire to get pregnant again like you’re talking about because that’s what I want to want. As of now I’m really feeling like I’d be happy with a boy and a girl.

  5. Hello, Moms! I had to laugh as I read the post and comments, because I remember what you’re all going through ALL TOO WELL…except that MY Aunt Flow always paid a visit immediately after I stopped breastfeeding.

    I just wish I could say things improve, but unfortunately, at least for me, it gets much worse before it gets better.

    Case in point: http://www.writewaydesigns.com/images/Turning45.htm

    If you read my little story, “Turning 45,” you should know I had the procedure described, so now I get all the symptoms, except I don’t B.L.A.S.P. (It’s still much better than it was.)

    Hopefully, it will all be over by the time I’m 50.

    Then I expect I’ll be again looking forward to new babies… grandchildren, that is!

    Enjoy your babies.
    They grow up all too soon.

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