With every birth of a child comes a small yet significant perk for the mother. Her body cycles slowwww down and take a little break from crazy fertility land into a nice, calm land where you don’t have to worry about cycles and late-night trips to the drug store. It’s really the only good thing your body does for you after you have a baby. It’s your secret little gift from your uterus saying “you deserve a break…after I’m done healing you’re going to get a little treat.”
Time goes by and you get used to this new way of life. No hassles, no cramps, no 3 days of grumpy-chocolate-eating-psycho-cow woman. You can blissfully enjoy all of the wonders of being a new mom and can ease your way through hard times without having to worry about your monthly womanly hell-time.
Then one day something changes. Your body is DYING to be pregnant again. It’s NEEDING another baby in it. Crazy body, does it know not that 9 short months ago it was going through HELL??? Why on God’s green earth would it want to do THAT again? WHY WHY WHY???
But alas nature calls and you get that feeling inside. The feeling every woman gets at the exact right time when things start a-flowing. Where Aunt Flow comes a-knockin. Where you start BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG!!! Because apparently your body thinks it would be FANTASTIC to get pregnant again! Just dandy!!!!
And now, because this happened to me today, I will have to endure it every month again for the next 20 years. YAAAAAAY. 20 (some) more years of blasping*….bleeding like a stuck pig.
The good news is I get to use those fun-looking pads that come with little wipes, I bought them but then got pregnant. So I guess there’s one perk.
*thanks Jennie for coming up with this phrase as a code word for us sisters to use. Unfortunately…everyone knows now cuz I shared. oops.