I’m a tough love kind of person. I’m very tender and very loving towards people but I’m also a bit tough about certain things, I get it from my mom. When it comes to Silas’ tantrums, my first instinct is to say “too bad” and walk away. My mother-in-law pointed out to me that my darling 15 month old needs a little help dealing with his emotions as he isn’t capable of dealing with them properly. I have trouble drawing a line with how tender I should be towards him in those moments. He deals with his frustration with banging his head so I know he’s got some capabilities. I’m proud of him for being able to smash his head on the floor, as violent as it sounds, and then get on with his playing. I’m glad he can show his emotions like that. I know one thing I will NOT do, is give in to his tantrums. The worst thing is to reward him for those actions. So how do we deal with them? I put his favorite music on, cuddle him, give him his smushy, and sometimes a soother. What if he’s having a tantrum because he just wants to be held? Then I can’t pick him up!! AHHHHH! I really am stumped here.
The past few days Silas will not allow me to go into the kitchen. Let me re-word that, he doesn’t want me in the kitchen. I’m the boss, I go where I want. The computer is in the kitchen and I wonder if I’ve just spent too much time on the computer and not with him and he’s fed up? Lately, I go in to get a cup of coffee and suddenly I’m tripping over a screaming toddler. I’m in here two seconds and it’s suddenly a big battle. I can’t NOT come in the kitchen. I still need to do things in here that are part of keeping my household running and I don’t want his behavior to stop me from keeping our household running smoothly. I’m just scared he’s feeling rejected though. I would hate that. I just hope I haven’t made him into the mommy in the kitchen hater that he is. I feel somewhat guilty about it though, have I created a monster? How come this job comes with so much guilt?
Anyway, I really am being patient in spending lots of time with him. I will say “rooster cockadoodledoo” every time he points at it in his book (which ends up to be about 50 times). We are spending a lot more time together which is a little against my better judgment but I realize he’s entering a more social stage in his development. Although, now that I’m spending more time with him he is getting more demanding of me. Goodness, with kids this age, you’re really stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Any suggestions are greatly apreciated. Telling me I’m messing up with something is fine, I can’t have pride about my mothering skills because my main focus is on being a good mommy for Silas, not a good mommy for me. I’m all about getting some criticism here and there.
I keep getting little toes in my ribs, someone’s cruising for a bruising!
This is totally off topic but I just had to tell someone that Silas is in his highchair singing along to Bed Of Roses by Bon Jovi. I’m such a proud mommy!