Sometimes you just have to take matters into your own hands. My husband has this problem, his fingers cannot feel a hard mass in muscle tissue therefore he can’t really help me work out my knots in my back. I’m sure there’s a name for this condition of his. Anyway, my back REALLY hurts from knots and whatnot and I couldn’t handle it anymore, I just crave deep pressure on those spots. I took a toy of Silas’ that was hard with a nice high edge on it and laid on it. It was beautiful. Nice, deep pressure in all the spots that needed it which is like, all of my back. It’s nice and bruised this morning which means it’ll probably feel better tomorrow. There’s one spot still bothering me, hard to get at. I just kinda got at it with the bottom of a screwdriver and the back of my chair…ha ha. Sometimes one just needs to be resourceful. I will go for a massage, I just need to let my back heal from the abuse it just took and then let a pro go at it. I figured if I could get rid of some of the knots myself then I could save some money. I’m sure I’ve ruined something but it really felt good…in a wonderfully painful way. I really need a professional.
I’m starting to accept this stage Silas is in and being very patient. According to Silas, it is acceptable for me to be sitting on the couch, chair or floor in the living room and he’ll play happily by himself on the floor, or with me. Sometimes he’s happily playing by himself in the kitchen but if I move from my designated spot and do something like…fold laundry then it’s unacceptable behavior and I will be punished with clawing and attempts at biting. Lots of crying and pulling on pant legs will follow. I just am trying to be calm and be there for him. I hate feeling like he might feel rejected by me so I am spending more time with him. But laundry does need folding. Grrrr, some phases rock, this one isn’t so great. He is saying more and more things. Today he said “hungry”. “Cookie” is usually the word of the day though, usually followed by a tantrum when he hears “no”. Oh well. My sister Jill reminded me to keep my voice calm and that really helps things to not escalate. The only thing I’ve ever disciplined before is a dog, which you raise your voice at (well, it’s what you did back in the day). Apparently disciplining a child is different than a doggy!! Sometime I’m like “oops” when I say “no Silas” because when you discipline a dog you don’t say their name with the “no”…it’s naughty for some reason. Then I remember he’s a human so it’s ok…I think. Anyway, keeping my voice calm and getting at eye level. I’m not going to lose it…I’m going to be a very calm and collected mommy. Self talk works right?
Anyway, I’m going to continue keeping on top of the dishes which means I have to go deal with them. Laundry needs doing as well…so do the bathrooms. Wish me luck! I feel like this post is not nearly as exciting as yesterday’s but whatever. I can’t be THAT hilarious every day, people might stop liking me! I truly am the most modest person I know.
Here’s Silas with his Grandma R. during our visit a while ago.