My Kids Hate Me

Well, another day here in our new home and I’m loving it here!!  It’s so much cooler living near the ground!!  We need new blinds pronto though.  There’s nothing on our sliding glass doors and it freaks me out when I’m nursing at night.  I’m too scared to turn the TV on because then someone might come into my yard and peer through the glass at me.  Yikes.  I got this stuff to go on our front door window.  It’s plastic stuff that sticks to your window and makes it look beautifully etched.  I’m not so hot with the exacto knife so it’s not cut perfectly.  I did put that up this morning while Silas was screaming for my attention though.  When my mom came over I saw her pointing out where I messed it up a bit.  I really don’t think guests will notice.  My mom is slightly anal about that stuff as am I.  At least it’s private there and it does look really nice.  What am I doing?  I need to go take a PHOTO! K I will later.  I have most of my paint colors chosen.  I’ll wait on the upstairs bathroom color until we’ve chosen tile and whatnot for it.  I just need to choose one for the upstairs hall and for the boy’s room.  Painting is our first job that needs doing.  Then we can put our shelves up on the walls and decorate and whatnot.  The kitchen is #2 because it’s poorly laid out and not all my stuff fits in there.  It’s awkward in there.  Anyway, Brent and Jay are going to finish the laminate in the hall today and it’s going to look amazing.  The flooring is super nice quality and it looks a lot more real than most laminate.  I hate laminate so I just chose the most real-looking one.  It looks amazing with our bedroom furniture as well.  I la la love it.  I’m very tempted to bring it downstairs as our stuff downstairs is uber cheapo and it’s the same color as my beautiful furniture down here so it looks like my kitchen table and chair grew out from the floor.  I dunno if that’s a priority though :(.  Anyway, we’ve decided that we’re going to tackle one job a month.  Once the flooring is done we’ll star on painting and then the next month we’ll do the kitchen.  I think we’ll leave the kitchen flooring for a different month because that’s a whole job in itself.  We’re going to take this slowly and in order of urgency and try and be super organized about it.  I’m never doing this with small children ever again.

Speaking of my small children.  Last night I got kind of depressed about them.  I’m just feeling rejected by both boys.  Isaac because of the nursing thing.  Last night I seriously was considering switching to formula.  That’s very odd for Miss Natural here.  I’m determined again this morning though.  Silas because there’s nothing I can do right now to make him happy.  I actually dread doing something fun with him because once it’s over or once Ikey needs me then there’s a tantrum.  I can’t figure out how to make him happy and content.  If I want to take him to our back yard he freaks because he wants to go out the front.  Things like that are just constant.  I know once we’re more settled here things will get better.  I’m feeling like a dreadful mother though.  Silas has serious patience issues.  Today he freaked out when I went to throw his diaper in the garbage.  He wants me NOW!!  I feel like I can’t give him any more of me without taking from Ikey.  I’ve never given into him tantrums yet they aren’t getting any better.  Poot and Cubby wrote this post that says “kids who tantrum grow up to be successful adults because they stand up for what they believe in.”  That helps me out a little in this area.  I feel like Silas is getting more needy and demanding every day but so is Isaac.  Who do I choose?  Who’s needs are greater?  How can I appease both?  My sister Jill is amazing with toddlers.  She needs to teach me how to keep that boy entertained.  I feel like I’m ruining him somehow because I don’t know what I can do for him.

Anyway, there ya go.  I’m hoping Silas naps soon.  He’s been on a nap strike and I don’t blame him.  Three different homes in a week.  Poor fellow.


  1. ::hugs:: I’m sorry that the kids are driving you up the wall. I can only imagine what it’s like with two, even though I’m fully overwhelmed with the one! I hope that you and Isaac get your nursing stuff together. Too bad we can’t get together just to nurse and hang out! 🙂 I find it kind of boring. Does that make me a bad mother? I usually read, watch tv or look at a magazine. Sometimes I put lotion on her, but usually it’s just something to activate my brain (I swear it’s shrinking).

    You’ll want to wait to see that your kitchen reno’s are exactly what you want before you do the floor in there. Especially if you’re reformatting the floor plan or whatever – you could end up with a new floor that needs to be fixed because the cabinet that you thought you would love in the corner just doesn’t work there at all!

    I can’t wait until our basement renovations start again. I’m so tired of not being able to use that space, and having the cats litter box in the front entrance. Ew (it was that or the kitchen, and that was grosser for me)!

  2. Ya nursing is boring although I do get caught up in his cuteness. I have to nurse on my back so I usually watch TV or movies. It helps pass the time.

  3. Your kids love you of course, just because. Poor Silas will soon settle down and when he learns that this is home and the loveliness of it all he will surely be happy. Hang in there and soon you’ll round the corner. I love you.

  4. It’s so hard with the two. Can someone take Issac so you and Silas can have a little more Mommy time together? That usually helps. It’s so hard.

    It does get better. Just not fast enough, especially in the summer. 🙂

  5. Having two can be so hard. I have no idea what it’s like to have two little ones. It’s definitely easier on my end with a baby and an 8 year old. He’s much more patient and knows that I have to feed baby and change baby, etc. He’s very good about waiting his turn. Once baby’s asleep then it’s his turn for Mom’s attention. Sometimes I’d love to nap but I know that spending time with my oldest is more important than a few winks. We usually play a game together or sit on opposite sides of the wall and e-mail 🙂 What dorks.

  6. thordora- ya, that’s so hard because of nursing right now. When the boys are older we’ll definitely have dates and stuff.

    reformatting- that’s so funny. I used to MSN with my boyfriend at college and we’d sit in the kiosks right beside each other. Silly…

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