To All The New Mothers
|March 30, 2011||Posted by The Informal Matriarch under ASD, autism, autistic, babies, childhood, family, kids, Life, love, motherhood, My Life, parenting, pregnancy, Self esteem, stay at home mom|
Dear new mothers,
From the moment you know you’re pregnant, it begins. You’re part of the new mother’s club.
You begin to compare, she’s carrying higher and she’s carrying lower, she’s growing fast and she’s growing slower
You’ll be jealous of people who are farther along then you and feel better than the women behind. It’s this constant comparison you feel all the time.
When the baby comes out you share your stories with mother’s. Comparing hours, pain and tears against all the others.
Then they start to grow and get fat. They grow at different paces and you compare all of that!
Sally began teething before your baby did. But your baby is growing faster than that little girl did.
Playdates begin and with them comes more chatting, about who’s kid is better at clapping and batting. Who’s rolled over and who has crawled, who has eaten solids and who’s development has stalled.
It’s crazy to make a precious life part of this battle, the constant competition can make your brain rattle.
Soon you become knocked up once again, you did it before Lucy hurrah and amen!!
But as you grow bigger you begin to see, things aren’t as important as they used to be.
You realize it was quite silly to compare all of that, when you see that the second is a very different brat!
He grew faster or slower he cries higher or lower.
So new mother’s you see it all doesn’t matter, who’s child is bigger who’s is much fatter. Just be glad it is healthy and cute has ten fingers and toes and a cute bum to boot!
I just was reading Isaac a kids book by Jeff Foxworthy and I just couldn’t help rhyming my blog today.
I was at the pool this morning for Ikey’s swimming lessons and this father was frustratingly comparing his barely 3 year old against all the other kids in the class. I explained to him that Isaac was almost four and that it was amazing that his kid was even staying with the group and listening. It was his first class of any sort! He couldn’t stop it, though, and it was bothering me.
I just wanted to yell out “JUST BE HAPPY HE’S HEALTHY AND TYPICAL!! YOU FEEL LIKE YOUR KID IS BEHIND? TRY HAVING ONE WITH SPECIAL NEEDS AND YOU’LL KNOW WHAT THAT REALLY IS LIKE!”
But I didn’t.
I just encouraged him in a way that would make him hopefully shut up.
It was really hard for me when Silas was a baby. Other than crawling, most everything else came late, or different or backwards. Nothing was “typical” at all. The constant comparing that new mother’s put themselves through can get to be so awful. Seriously, just be happy your baby is healthy. They’ll all grow up to know how to read and smile and wipe their own bums. He won’t have no teeth when he’s 20 and he won’t still be crawling.