Don’t Worry, I’m Happy!

Isaac is completely delicious today.  He was in his bouncy chair giggling to himself this morning.  He’s such an easy little muffin.  I just put him on his tummy for tummy time and he’s just laying there all relaxed.  He’s falling asleep.  K he was falling asleep.  He’s stirring now.  I really couldn’t have asked for a more easy going baby.  I’ll keep nursing him for an hour each time for him to stay this happy no problem.

My post yesterday was taken the wrong way by a few people.  None of which commented though.  I didn’t mean any of it as a bad thing.  I think it’s beautiful to find humility.  I do have a ton of pride in myself.  I really like who I am for the most part and the things I don’t like I am constantly working on.  It’s a healthy pride though I think.  This time in my life is difficult yes, I’m living in a tiny apartment with two kids and none of my own stuff.  I don’t have luxuries like a dishwasher and laundry but it’s not that bad.  These time are stressful but there’s a big difference between this time and all the other hard times in my life.  I’m happy.  The majority of my life has been me struggling with depression, wanting to die, locking myself in my room and cutting myself.  Life was a constant struggle.  But now I’m happy.  I’ll go through hard times like this forever and be happy before being sad like that again.  I guess to some people this time in their life would mark the hardest and the most unhappy but so much worse is out there.  I’m just thankful for the inner joy I feel now.  I feel fulfilled and complete.  This is new and wonderful to me.

Anyway, I’m so looking forward to being in my new house.  I’m not looking forward to how tight the budget will be but in some ways I enjoy the challenge of making ends meet.  My goal is to get us out of stupid debt.  First the credit cards (which I’ve gotten switched to low interest ones) and we’ll go on from there.  I want every spare penny to go into it.  Once we’re out of that, it’ll free up hundreds upon hundreds of dollars a month for us.  Most of our debt is necessary like car and student loans.  Just the credit card debt is stupid.  They’ve always only been used to internet purchases and emergencies but we’d always forget to pay them back right away and it got out of hand.  I’m excited to make it all work.

Another totally different topic.  I’ve decided to try to IUD.  After thinking upon it a lot I’ve decided my moral standpoint with it and I feel peace about getting one.  I hate the pill, I hate chemicals in my body like this.  It’s bringing my mood down and I’m having a really hard time losing the pregnancy pounds.  I’m not willing to be this heavy.  No way.  Anyway, I’ll make an appointment soon and we’ll get all of that done.  I hope it treats me well.

Anyway, the boys are sleeping and the house needs a tidy so here I go.

1 comment

  1. Your post yesterday was perfect in every way! If any mother out there can’t relate on every account she’s either lying to herself or has hired help!

    Anyway, you’ll have to let me know what you think of the IUD. I went through the same dilemma and ultimately chose the pill (which I didn’t want b/c of the hormones) because I was too afraid to have my vajayjay violated again post partum. I reconsidered and made an appointment right around the time you posted about IUD or pills and I chickened out and canceled! Alas it’s still the pill for me!

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